James to Meilyah: I dare you to-
Me: she isn't allowed to accept dares
James: What?
Meilyah: Apparently I have 'no safety regard for myself'
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My friend group in court
Meilyah: In my defense, your honor, I can't vibe with the law
Oliver: What did I doooo?!
James: *just sits there*
Ace: *trying to sneak out*
Adam: For the last time I didn't do it
Me: You'll never take me alive fuckers! *pulls out a gun*
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Me: Welcome to dating advice with Eclipse, James what's your question?
James: How can you tell if someone likes you?
Meilyah: Act like Eclipse did back in 6th grade or-
Ace: She/he/they don't/doesn't!
Me: damn......
James: ouch
Oliver: are we ignoring the fact that Eclipse likes James?
Me: used to and yes
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Me looking at my friends
Me to Meilyah: One taught me to let go of things in the past
Me to Ace: One taught me to lighten up, yet not show fear
Me to James and Oliver who are smiling: And then there are these two who taught me how to lose my fucking voice before one of my choir concerts
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Me: alright, I'm leaving and Ace is in charge
Ace: Yay!
Me: *Texts Meilyah* You're actually in charge. Make sure she doesn't kill anyone
Meilyah: got it
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Meilyah: can you yeet me off a roof?
Me: what roof and when?
Meilyah: this is why we are friends.
Me: one question, can I jump after you?
Meilyah: of course you can't, dumass!
Me: I'll go to jail if I don't...
Meilyah: Okay, fine! See you in heaven
Me: you're not a christian?
Meilyah: I'll break into heaven if needed.
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Adam: "Fun fact! Dolphins are the humans of the sea!"
Me: "how so?"
Adam: "they'll fuck anything they see"
Me:"...how did you find this out?"
Adam: "don't ask irrelevant questions"
Me: "don't say 'fun fact' when ruining my favorite animal as a child!"
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Random person: how are you two so good at everything?
Me and Ace: T. R. A. U. M. A. We have trauma and We're ✨gay✨
Meilyah: yeah no, I- I'm just the gay part
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5th grade James: *eating a cinnamon roll*
5th grade me: Cannibalism
5th grade James: *confused cinnamon roll noises*
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Me: *Having a breakdown and telling James everything about my past*
James: two questions, one are you okay and two how have you not killed yourself yet?
Me: One I have no idea and two I've tried
—————————————————————
Ace: I'm making a play on my life. James, you're my father
James: I don't want to be your father
Ace: perfect, you already know your lines!
James: What the frick?
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect quotes on my life and friends
FanfictionAll of these people are real and some these things really did happen. At times there will be swearing and talking about sex! This is a warning ⚠️
