Together Forever (One Direction)

Problems...

*Chelsea’s POV*

My throat hurts, I can’t breathe. The person’s hand squeezed tighter round my neck, as I felt my breath get trapped in my throat.

“What’s wrong Chelsea? Having trouble breathing?” A laugh left their mouth.

“Kelly?!” 

“Don’t talk bitch! Just listen!” she spate, as the grip on my neck went tighter for a few seconds. I gave her a tiny nod, showing her I was going to listen.

“Good, I just wanted to tell you a few things. I know you have feelings for Niall, but stay away! He loves me, and hates you. He was told by management to tell people you are his celebrity crush as it would be good for your show. Every nice thing he has ever said to you he meant the opposite. Why would you think you have a chance with him? Now I see why all those girls sent you hate, they are telling you the truth. Why don’t you do what everyone wants and just disappear?! You’re worthless, a waist of space, ugly, fat, and no one will ever love you! Go back to where ever you came from and stay there, no one wants to see your face on the cover of magazines. Just. Go. And. Die!”  Her words ran round my brain, picking out the worst ones to stay there for life.

He hates you.

Just disappear.

Worthless.

Waist of space.

Ugly.

Fat.

Just. Go. And. Die.

Those hurt the most, I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart. She pushed me higher up the wall, before dropping me back down. I stood there my back against the wall, as she gave me a cold hard stare. She knew that the words she has said have has an effect on me, that’s what she wanted.

I moved my hand up to my neck, running my finger over the bruising area. I winced in pain. My eyes were filling with tears, I can’t cry not in front of her.

“Chelsea?” My eyes darted to the source of the voice. Liam. His face was full of worry and a bit of confusion. “Are you ok?”

“She is fine, she tripped up the stairs and hurt her ankle. But it’s fine I was just taking her to her room” Kelly spoke before I could even think of what to tell Liam. He gave her a nod before, walking past me. He gave me a ‘tell me later’ look before heading back down to the party.

I did even give Kelly a second look before running to my room, slamming the door shut and locking it. It has been so long since anyone has said anything like that to me.

It has been a long time since I have felt this low, and this worthless. The things that I’m thinking and feeling right now have been shut off for so long, I don’t think I’m ready to have them back. But looks like I can’t stop them from coming now.

My laptop made a buzzing nose from where it is sat on my desk. I walked slowly over, pulling it open before logging on to my Twitter, Facebook and the Twitter and Facebook I shared with the girls. The usual mass of notifications and mentions popped, but I’m not really bothered about looking at them at the moment. I just want to look at one thing.

Hate. My hate.

The thing that made the start of our YouTube journey so ruff. While the girls had floods of compliments coming in, I was the one suffering. The girls thought the hate I was getting was small but they didn’t know what was really happing, only my mum know what was really said to me on my own Facebook and Twitter.  

But my mum missed one little thing that was happening to me. The smiles I held were fake, the laughs were fake, the tears were real and the cuts on my wrists were deep.

My eyes scanned over the words that I always tried to ignore, the words I pushed to the back of my mind. The words I believe.

I jumped of chair, slamming my laptop shut in the process. I pulled of my dress and kicking my heels across my room. I grabbed an old over-sized t-shirt pulled it over my head as I walked into my bathroom.

I pulled the cord to turn the light on, it flickered a few time before the buzzing noise from the fan started as the light stayed on. My feet padded across the cold tiled floor, before I stopped in front of the sink. I removed my make-up from my face, before throwing the wipe in the bin. I stared at the mirror, as I picked out every little thing I hate about myself.

My hand slowly made its way up to the handle on the cupboard to the left of the mirror. I pulled it open before searching for the small sharp piece of metal I needed. My fingertips toughed the little blade, before I could think it was in my hand as my body slid down the wall before coming into contact with the cold tiles.

I let my fingers play with the blade, drawing light patterns on my skin. I felt the sharp pain as the blade split my skin, the wound opening up to let the dark red blood out. I dragged it across my wrist making a bigger wound, tears slipped from my eyes as the blood spilled out of my wrist in little drops.      

Why can’t I have someone to love me? The girls love me and so does my family, but I want someone who will kiss me when they want to see me smile. Someone who will do anything to make me laugh. Someone who will hold me as tight as they can when I’m scared. I want someone who will make me smile just by sending me a cheesy text that I know that they mean.

I felt a sharp pain in my wrist and something dripping on my leg. I opened my eyes to see that I had pushed the blade deeper into my wrist as the blood dripped out of the open wound. My whole body just seemed to wake up. What am I doing?

I pulled myself of the cold tiled floor of my bathroom, using the sink to help me as I felt a bit dizzy. I washed the blade before throwing it back into the cupboard, I washed my cut with cold water. I sprayed some antiseptic onto the wound before rapping a banged round my wrist. I looked up at the mirror seeing I looked a mess. I washed my face and brushed my hair then tying it up in a high pony tail, I turned the bathroom light of as I walked back into my room to go to sleep.

My body flopped onto the bed as I pulled the cover round me, I winced slightly at the pain coming from my wrist. Small tears fell from my eyes, why does everything have to be so hard? I felt a few more tears fall down my face and onto my pillow before sleep to a hold of my body. I’m in for a ruff night’s sleep.