The Year of the Revolution II. The Discovery of Friendship

1. Worship

Here begins the second part of the story. For those who have not read the first one, I inform you that it is titled 'The Third Time Lucky' and you will find it on my page.

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Worship

Lily's unconditional love and acceptance, despite the abuse he had subjected her to and the two weeks of absence, as well as her kisses, were a balm for Sev's battered spirit, who was able to sleep soundly that night for the first time since the conflict.

Upon waking up he felt refreshed. 'I am going to put all my will into fulfilling my determination not to worry her again, taking care of myself and not letting myself be carried away by despair.

'I will never miss breakfast or lunch again, although perhaps I will miss dinner, since I have to keep watching the Haven and it is a risk to go back and forth to the fifth floor so many times. But in that case, I will eat well in the kitchens and not anything or nothing at all like I have been doing.'

That morning they saw each other in Potions and Lily blew him a kiss when he glanced at her returning from the ingredients cupboard. He couldn't return it because he was facing the class, but even if he hadn't been like that, he wouldn't have done it either, because she caught him by surprise and he felt himself blush like a tomato.

They both made excellent potions, being congratulated once again by Slughorn, despite the lack of Sev's notes for Lily and her no longer preparing the ingredients in sight of him. 'It's better this way, I would have felt indebted to receive her help without giving anything in return, and besides, I prefer to contemplate her completely in the brief intervals that I can afford, her long hair the color of the Red Moon contrasting with the black of her robe, the graceful and precise movements of her arms as she carries out the procedures, the absolute concentration on her work.'

He gradually managed to get back into his usual routine, concentrating hard on classes and making up for some of the lost time. Although guarding the Haven required extra effort, he too relaxed somewhat, slowing down the frequency of his rounds. 'If nothing has happened in two weeks, I no longer have to be so alert.' And so at least he kept his homework up to date.

Of course, he was still thinking a lot about Lily and what had happened, not only on the day of the dispute, but also during the previous months, but in a much more constructive way. 'I put all the responsibility on her to move the relationship forward. It is true that I did not find out she loved me until the day of the walk in the Forest, but at least since then, I should have understood her shyness, her change of attitude, and made it easy for her to take the step, or I should have.

'After all, it took me six years to show her what I felt for her, and I did it in a clumsy, cowardly and surprising way, not even daring to tell her, and even so it seemed to me that I had done enough.'

His perspective on their lifelong friendship changed. 'I thought I gave her more of myself because I was in love with her and she wasn't, but it wasn't like that at all. She was always the one who spontaneously showed me her affection, not reserving what she felt. I, on the other hand, kept everything to myself, only giving myself when she demanded it, never being the first to initiate hugs and caresses, fearing that she would realize what I felt and upset her.

'Now it seems incredible to me that she has remained so close for so many years, without my closedness and apparent coldness making her a dent, and that she had enough with a timid attempt at a kiss to fall in love with me. Perhaps if I had been able to show her my love much sooner, we would have stopped being just friends long ago.