drown for you | jjk

14

For a second or two, your heart ceases its beating.

He doesn't know what it means.

Even though you immediately assume that he must've seen it on tv or something and that he's unaware of the meaning of it, you still stutter in your movements to distance yourself from him. You didn't even think of the fact that, even after the need for you two to be close had dissipated, none of you had moved.

A mild panic fills your senses as you realize that maybe you've been careless, that you've grown too comfortable.

"Uh, no, I'm sorry, but we shouldn't... do that," is what you manage to get out as you move away from him, hands grasping the platform.

"Why not?" he wonders, completely confounded that his question bothers you to the point of not wanting to be near him anymore.

"It's for people who like each other."

"Oh... okay, I understand..." he goes quiet, avoiding looking directly at you. What do you do?. There was no need for it to get this awkward if you'd just handled it better. Maybe you could've pecked him on the cheek and then joked about it, but no, you fled and acted as if he's confessing his undying love for you.

Kissing him feels wrong on multiple levels. For one, it feels like you'd be taking advantage of him in a way. Like he's dependent on you and you'd be using that dependence.

It's quiet.

Except for the low sounds of water splashing lightly against the platform. That, and a careful, near-silent voice.

"Does that mean... you don't like me?"

At his words, your heart absolutely shatters. He's sunk down after asking and is now observing you like he used to before, only his eyes visible above the water.

"No, Jeongguk, I do like you, I like you very much. It's just... it's hard to explain... I don't know where you learned about kissing, but it's for humans who are in love."

How do you explain the differences between liking someone and liking someone to a siren? Maybe he understands more than you assume, perhaps sirens also fall in love? But if he truly gets it, you doubt he'd ask in the first place.

One thing's certain, you're not very tempted to go in-depth about friends with benefits and that kind of stuff. Right then and there, kissing is strictly between people in love, as far as you know.

A smile tugs on his lips, but you're not a fool. So he might not have grasped the entire concept of kissing, but you still rejected him. Pretty harshly, at that. Your conscience eats at you, and in turn, you eat at your bottom lip.

Just like he said, you'd been blessed with the opportunities to see and marvel over him, to discover things about him, and feel him under your fingers. And you chicken out at a kiss? For what exact reason? It's not even like you're repulsed by the thought of kissing him. If you're being honest with yourself, you very much want to.

"Fuck it," you mumble, causing Jeongguk to look at you, eyebrows raised at your quiet outburst. "You want me to kiss you?"

"Yeah."

"Then come here."

Slowly, he closes the distance you created and places himself in front of you, also at the side of the platform. Your eyes flicker over to the camera hanging from the ceiling to your right. Even though you doubt anyone would be angry, you know that Namjoon and the others won't exactly be thrilled to know that you're going around kissing the siren.

"Uh, Jeongguk... I have a question first?" You'd almost forgotten about the camera by now, but when reminded of it, you can't keep ignoring it. Your chest fills with that familiar fragile hope. Hope that he won't be too upset.