Roots - A Rosalie Hale Story

Disappointment

"And as I touched my skin I realized this is the body I will be in. This is my home." - Take care of your home
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Tatia still remembers the first time she met Carlisle Cullen. He was a new doctor in the hospital and the only one willing to see Tatia for what her mother called 'her issue.'

Tatia was 13 and the Cullens had just moved to Forks, or moved back, as some might say. While examining the girl, the doctor made small talk. Talking about his children and how eager he was to continue his career in Forks.

She didn't understand at the time. Why would someone want to move to Forks, Washington? Although, It did comfort the girl to finally get a doctor who treated her like a person, not just a medical case.

Tatia had struggled with her relationship with food for years at that point. It only grew worse after her sister got sick and she was pushed on the back burner.

'An eating disorder' that's what Dr. Cullen called it. He was the first to call it as it was. Most of her prior doctors danced around the word, choosing to call the girl 'troubled' or other not-so-medically correct words.

Eleanor glared at her daughter as the doctor explained her struggles. She believed the girl was only doing it for attention. Mayson was sick and suddenly the youngest Chase was fainting at school.

Having a daughter with an eating disorder on top of one with leukemia would only worsen their reputation, Eleanor would later explain to her daughter. Telling her to start eating and not waste anymore of her or her father's time.

Upon hearing that, her father would disagree, pulling his daughter close and telling her it was going to be okay.

It made sense to Tatia, the contrast in her parents' reactions. Her father had been the one to talk her mother into taking her to the doctor in the first place. Ambrose Chase worried for his youngest when he noticed her getting thinner and weaker. He wanted the best for his two girls, and he'd fight for that.

To think of that time now almost made Tatia laugh. How it had all changed so quickly, she didn't know.

Now she sat on a leather medical bed covered in paper, the kind you sit on when you go to your local pediatrician or urgent care.

She was alone, as she usually was for these kinds of appointments. Her yearly 'is Tatia disappointing her mother again' check-up, is what she thought it as.

"Nice to see you again, Tatia." The blonde doctor she had grown accustomed to flashed her a warm smile, drawing her out of her thoughts as he shut the door behind him.

She found it odd that he was her doctor at first, he was typically an emergency room attendant, but now she felt safe at the fact. He was truly the best.

Tatia stilled as Dr.Cullen checked over her stats, she knew her weight had lowered. 'Not by too much' she thought 'Not enough to be concerning'

Dr. Cullen frowned for a split second before putting on a face of neutrality. "It seems you've lost quite a bit of weight"

"Yes, I have, but not unhealthily." She nodded. "It's field hockey." Tatia knew she was lying, to both herself and him, but she didn't want to go down the same road she had before. All the hospital visits and concerned looks she'd get. She was over it.

"Hmm, I see." Tatia waited for the doctor to continue on. "I'd like to see you again in the next few months, to check in."

She knew what that meant. He didn't believe her and if she didn't gain the weight back, she'd be back to square one. 3 years later and she still couldn't handle something as simple as eating. She was disgusted with herself.

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Tatia stared down at her dinner. Steak and potatoes. Surprisingly, her mom had come home from work rather early and made them dinner. She knew she was probably just here to know what had happened at the doctor's, maybe even act as if she cared.

"How did it go?" Eleanor pressed, watching as her daughter played around with her food.

Tatia put on a fake smile, one she had gotten quite good at over the years. "Great! I have lost some weight but it's a healthy weight. It's just from all the summer conditioning I've been doing."

"Good."

"But..." Tatia paused, trying to gauge her mother's mood before speaking. "Dr. Cullen does want to see me again in the next few months, just to be sure everything's good. It's nothing serious."

"That doesn't sound 'healthy'" Eleanor raised her voice as she finished the sentence, causing Tatia to stumble over her next words.

"You know how doctors are Mom, they look too deeply into everything." She reasoned

"Just finish your dinner, you wouldn't want to make us look bad would u darling?" Of course, Tatia didn't; she wanted to make her mom happy. So she stuffed her dinner down her throat, not listening to the tiny voice in the back of her head telling her to stop or her stomach as it fought against the food.

She'd suffer the consequences later when she would have to turn on the shower to hide the sounds of her brain winning the battle. Her knees sore as her fingers grip the toilet seat and tears stream down her face.

She'd never be good enough.