My hands trembled as I held his report in my hands. My heart races in fear and anxiousness. My knees got weak. My head started to spin and everything around me went in spirals. I held onto the table as I lost balance and fell bringing down the ceramic flower vase that fell with a loud this and shattered into million pieces scattering it everywhere along with the table cloth. I pushed away the medical report and pulled at my hair as I let my river of hot and salty tears flow not knowing how to accept it. I hugged my knees and wept. A feeling of nausea and dizziness took over me as I closed my eyes and let the darkness take control. I didn't know for how long I've been unconscious but the next thing I knew was, I was in our bed with a band-aid on my right palm and Noah on my side fast asleep. I rubbed my eyes and gave a kiss on his forehead. And then I laid my eyes on his beautifully sculptured face. He looked so peaceful in his sleep so calm and serene. I caressed his face and let a tear drop of mine fall into his cheek. He opened his eyes and smiled at me wiping away my tears. 'come here.' he gathered me in his arms so that I could hear his dying heart beat.
'I've got six months left.' he broke the silence. I quickly shushed him with my fingers.
'Don't talk about it.' I replied.
'You ought to know doll. I have blood cancer. I'll be with you for six more months.' he said running his hands through my hair. I gulped and looked at him through my eyelashes. 'you look beautiful.'
'Take me with you.' I said entwining our fingers and smiled at him. He smashed his lips on mine creating a new feeling at the bottom of my stomach. He locked his hands around my waist as I held his face and deepened the kiss. Our tongues danced along creating their own rhythm.
I broke the kiss and patted his chest. 'It's time for breakfast.' I managed to break a giggle.
'I love you.' he kissed my forehead.
'Love you infinity.'
I felt a hand snake up through my waist from behind while I was pouring chocolate syrup on his pancake. 'You making my fav?' he nibbled at my earlobe.
'Yea' I answered the side of my head. And fed me a piece of pancake.
I purposely bit his finger. 'You're gonna be the death of me doll.' he said.
'Touché.' I pinched his cheek and fed him another piece.
We silently ate the pancake. The silence was somewhat comfortable and peaceful.
'I'm scared. Scared of losing you.' I broke the silence.
'Don't be. I'll always be with you. In your heart.' he replied smiling at me.
****************
That night I prepared sandwiches and some cookies for the night. I decorated our backyard with fairy lights and laid out the blanket. I arranged the picnic box which was full of sandwiches and cookies plus my favorite chocolates. Then I headed back to get my phone. 'What are you doing babes?' Noah asked.
'Be patient bro.' I rolled my eyes as I walked back out.
I played "My Heart will go on" in a low volume so that it looks romantic. I hung all our printed memories on the trees and went in with a blindfold.
'Close your eyes.' I said
'Can you just tell me?' He pouted. I pecked on his lips. 'Surprise!' I walked him outside and removed the blindfold. he inhaled sharply as his hands around me tightened. He turned around and lifted me making wrap my legs around his waist. I tugged at his hair pulling them as he kissed with full force. His hands brushed against my silky skin as he snaked his hands through my top. I moaned against his kisses turning him on. He broke the kiss and took deep breaths.
