Pants On Fire [Pingxie Fanfic]

1

“Hey,” The knocks at the door were loud and boisterous, I could hear Fatty getting more and more impatient by the minute. “I know you're in there Brother Wu! I'll give you five minutes if you're in the toilet, push the remaining shit up and open the door!”

Poker Face covered my mouth with his hand and shushed me. I bit at it and tried to struggle out from his hold but it was useless. No matter how I wriggled, he had me firmly locked in place.

Somehow, the hand slipped from my mouth. I turned desperately and used my legs to push him away but all it did was make him hunch. “He must've something important to say! We can do this another time, let me go or I'll really kick you in the shins son of a bitch Zhang Qiling!”

He smirked and flexibly leaned over, nibbling a chunk of my ear. I shivered and cursed my body for being so sensitive.

“Really yo-”

Fatty was threatening to climb up and enter through the window. I could bear his dirty jokes, but if he really did see us like this then I'd rather bury myself dead and join those shrunken Buddhist corpses in their prayers underground.

But my protests were muffled by the kiss, it was exciting and I could feel that both our little selves felt the exact same way.

“Old Wu!” Fatty was huffing by now and his voice was hoarse. “You’ll regret this! See if I care when you come running to me later on. And don't say it's your stomach again!”

My attention wavered and I didn't get to hear the end of what Fatty was saying. Cool fingers slipped under my shorts and circled a sensitive layer of skin.

Seeing that I was now compliant, Poker Face chuckled and kissed me lightly on the neck. I sucked in a cold breath and pressed against the pillow, my hands were taunt on his chest in a weak attempt to push him away.

“I can stop now if you want.”

I wanted to punch him in the guts but the slight up and down rubbings made me ache with need.

“What do you want, Wu Xie? Huh?”

Trying my best to fight it, I kept silent and tensed my jaws to keep the moans in. Not in a million years am I giving in to his teasing! Not even if he uses his stash of sweet nothing's, or rubs me there or...

“Ah!” I widened my eyes in surprise. Feeling the prod of a naughty finger, I tried to wriggle away but he caught my leg and dragged me right underneath.

The smirk on his gloating face was asking to be slapped off. He was putting his skills to no good use, if only God was fair he'd be knocked off his high horse in an instant!

I cursed him. But Poker Face left me with no dignity, I was soon completely undressed. He must've ripped off the shirt, my hands were pressed to the bed and there was no way to remove it otherwise. I cursed again, it was a fucking good shirt! I felt like a goddamn actor in a third rated gay AV.

“You want it rough, huh?” He bit me on the neck, causing me to hiss. “I can do a lot of things, Wu Xie, you just have to ask. Open that pretty mouth for me, will you?”

I pulled roughly and suprisingly, he released the grip on my wrists. Wrapping one around his neck, I used the other to flick his member. “That's what you get for being so naughty bastard.”

He tensed up, and smiled at me. “Where’d you put those things, hm? Maybe you can punish me more once I spread you out and I'll do it nicely too, you'll have your fill once we're done.”

“And then what?” I look at him, eyes slitted. “Sometimes I'm not so sure you're human, Qiling, with that fucking horse on your hips I bet you could dig out a whole well with how energetic you always are.”

He laughed. “I think I'm pretty close to doing that.”

We fumbled for a while, before he got impatient. I felt a cold, slimy liquid slide down my legs and before I could ask him how the hell he got his hands on it, he'd already shoved in a finger effectively cutting the words in my throat. I grunted uncomfortably.

“Don’t-”

“Don’t what?” He kissed the sensitive spot under my thighs. “Don’t like it?”

“Be a little gentler will you!” I pinched his nipple, hoping to teach him a lesson. But of course, I rolled my eyes feeling the taunt thing pulse against me, it was just teasing to him at most.

The room was filled with ungodly sounds soon enough. I was embarassed enough by the fact that we were doing it in broad daylight but when he leaned down to kiss me on the shaft I couldn't bear it anymore and closed my eyes, utterly ashamed.

My body was so hot, I wasn't so sure if it was the summer heat or something else making it feel that way.

“Hey!”

A snap of fingers broke my daydream and I stared at Fatty's annoyed face, blankly confused for a few seconds.

“You’ve been absentmindedly lately, don't tell me all that grave digging's got to your head. I've seen plenty of necrophilia in this line of business, what? Got a penchant for Egyptian ones? Is that why you've got your head stuck somewhere up a shriveled hole?”

Blushing profusely, I glared at Fatty. “So what if have?” I spat out.

“How are you so sure it's not a shriveled dick?” It was Poker-Face and we both turned to him with varying expressions. Fatty suspiciously glanced between us and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“Have I got something wrong here...?”

Before he could complete that line of thought, I distracted him with the map.

“You fucker,” I mouthed to Poker Face. “Say anything more and I'll make you regret it!”

He smirked, shrugging.

Guess it's true when they say fools never learn.

-end-

Hi! This is my first fanfic and since I've been reading the Grave robbers chronicles lately my fingers were itching to write some Qiling x Wu xie material. If you happened to stumble upon this thanks for stopping by :) I hope you liked and enjoyed it!

English is my second language, and I'm not really confident when it comes to grammer. If there's anything you didn't like, let me know. I'll try to fix it and improve.

Thanks for reading!