Strawberries & Cigarettes: (Liskook)

Chapter 40 (Forty)

Jenna entered her dark apartment room and closed the door behind her.

Thud.

The sound of her door echoed in the room and then fell an uncomfortable loneliness.

Silence.

A silent living room welcomed her and her gaze moved around the darkness, lifelessly.

Her face was devoid of any expression. No one knew what she was thinking. Is she happy? Is she sad? Is she angry? Is she disappointed?

No one knows.

Her face was shadowed by the darkness.

Slowly and aimlessly, She walked towards the center of the room and with a thud, She dropped her carry bag on the cold floor.

She did not switch on any lights nor she moved. She stood there like a statue, Her blank gaze staring down at her feet.

She stood there like a puppet.

Only her breathing was the evident that she was still alive.

"Moonyang" A name escaped from her lips and she felt her knees getting weak.

Her body weakly gave way. She plopped on the nearby sofa and her lips quivered. Her expression changing slightly for the first time since she entered the room.

"Moonyang" She muttered again, As if she was calling someone but contrast to her calls, No one came. No one answered her.

She was still sitting alone in her big apartment in the dark living room.

"Why did you leave me?" She asked, her words echoing around her. Her emotions was now evident in her pale face and a tiny drop of tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me about your problems?" Her voice shaken as she spoke "Why couldn't you trust your sister? Am I that bad?"

Tears finally left her blurry eyes "Why didn't you trust me, Moonyang!" Her trembling voice echoed "Why? I could have helped you!"

She sobbed and cried her hearts out.

But no one calms her down. Her cries only made her feel more isolated and depressed.

Her lips quivered "Moonyang, Why couldn't you trust your sister? Why??"

She kept asking the same question over and over again. As if she was expecting someone to answer. But there was no one. There was no one to wipe away her tears and say her the soothing words she wished for.

No one.

She was all alone.

Again.

She wrapped herself with her arms to comfort herself and shut her eyes closed. She wanted to calm herself but instead of finding calm, Memories started to flood inside her mind.

Jenna and Moonyang was raised by her single mother who used to be a nurse. But after the birth of Moonyang, She decided to leave her job and to look after her two daughters.

But luck was never in their side.

Soon they find out that her mother was diagnosed with cancer. The news came to them like a bad omen and Jenna as the eldest daughter had to take the responsibility to look after her family.

From the early teens, Jenna started to take part-time jobs and look after her mom and younger sister financially. However the money that she gets from the part-time job was not enough for her to manage the households and also the medicines that was for her mother.