Galaxy of Exiles book 1 - The Empyrean

Chapter Three

It was dark when Palia woke. Not night dark, where you had to strain to see your hand in front of your face, but artificial-twilight dark, with shade seeming to fuzz and blur in front of her. She queried the local network via her implants to check if the viewscreens were off, but couldn't connect to it. She tried to send a message to the Ado robot, but it wasn't there.

As she swung her legs over the side of the bed to go check on Derren, she remembered. Derren was dead. She had seen her son burn in the Ado's arms. It should have been her carrying him. She had hired the Ado-model robot to help look after him, but it should have been her keeping him safe. Even as she thought it, a familiar flash of resentment arrived, clinging onto the weight of responsibility around her neck. She closed her eyes, a sick taste in her throat. A part of her was empty. It was the part of her whose routine had been dictated for her over the past five years. Another part of her already wanted to fill that part in with new adventures, and she wanted to smother that impulse, to deny it existed.

She should have been devastated. The thought gnawed at her, a chisel trying to crack away at her insides to find some hidden, correct response.

Eventually, she dragged her mind away and made her way to the communal shower room adjoining the sleeping quarters. Most people showered together on ships. If you were on a long-haul flight, it saved the water recyclers having to do too much work. She assumed this flight was short haul. She wasn't about to corral the others to make the most of resources.

So Palia stood in the semi-darkness, her head turned up to catch the falling water, emotions still churning within her torso. She still needed to tell Fabien their son was dead. The dread of it lurked at the back of her psyche, but she held it back. Whatever that call might entail, she only go through it once.

Her thoughts wandered to the two men who had saved her. Either they were early risers or they hadn't followed her to sleep – though she couldn't judge what time it was in the ship's cycle. Dawn or dusk, she thought.

Why had they been on Everatus IV?

Palia pondered the question as she kneaded the tired muscles of her face. There was nothing on Everatus IV. Certainly not now, anyway, but even when it had been in one piece, Palia and her son were its only human inhabitants. It wasn't a well-known planet. Despite its beauty, it hadn't had chance to become a sightseeing spot. Her interest in it had been twofold: as a wilderness in which to quarantine herself from her previous life and as a point of academic interest. She studied the creatures of Everatus IV as a member of the xenobiological order – and the creatures were dead now, so she supposed she would have to find a new posting. In any case, there was no reason for anyone else to be there.

She waved a hand and the jets shut off, leaving her standing amidst a steady drip, drip, drip of falling water.

Funny, how the sound of a drop hitting smooth metal could fill her with so much longing. She closed her eyes, fell to her knees and listened. Her eyes stung as tears finally gathered there, waiting to join the drops below, and she stifled a sob. Time still turned. Cause was still married to effect. She knew she would have to call Fabien eventually. Would admitting her failure to him make her less in his eyes? Would it pierce the bonds of a friendship that had lasted from childhood? Fabien had only met Derren a handful of times before she left with him, but he was still his blood, still his son. The thought of Fabien seeing her for what she now was – weak, empty and alone – seared through her insides. She gulped in air and curled in on herself, pinching at the bridge of her nose to stop the tears from falling.

She wanted to forget everything else in the galaxy, erase the past five years of her life, go back to when all she saw when she looked to the skies was adventure, not something beyond her reach. But she couldn't do that. She had to remember, and she had to go on.