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silence 

do u ever came to a point where everything seems to be too much? 



some may say that opening up will help but, trust me, it was not. instead of relief, it was guilt that comes right after. the thoughts of bothering someone or even the thought of them pitying me makes me want to take it all back and just put an act. 


"communication is key" they say. i just hope it was easy as it seems. i tried and i failed. how can i communicate when understanding was not being offered? its scary to talk only to just be understood so i just take my time by shutting myself up. 


embracing the silence. i never thought that it too, have a consequence. i thought that being silent would save me from the constant arguing and fights. it did, yes. but it paid a price where the thing i treasured the most comes to an end. 


regrets and doubts. thats what i felt every night, or even any random time of the day. the question "is it the silence that bother them the most? or i was just being too much?" lingers on my mind too much only to get the same answer, that it was me who's the problem.


when i thought that being silent can bring peace in a middle of a war, i was wrong. what i brought was chaos. not only to myself, but also to others who are involved. it was a hard pill to swallow. but i must take it all in. 




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⏰ Last updated: Apr 15, 2023 ⏰

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