hope ; kaveh √

003

you were more cautious , in case you bumped into this guy again .  as you walked into the school , you looked left and right , checking to see if he was around . no sign of him .

you let out a small sigh of relief as you enter the school normally . but as you walked in , you saw a familiar figure standing across the corridor talking with his friends , you decided to just walk the other way .

“ hey isn't that her ? ” tighnari points towards you as Kaveh immediately turns his head to look .

“ oh yeah ! that is her , thanks nari . ” he waved to them as he followed you .

you could feel as if you were being followed so you turned around , and groaned once you saw him there upon you .

“ leave me alone , goddamnit .. ” you facepalm as you leaned against your locker .

“ anyways , continuing on from yesterday's conversation .. ” kaveh ignored whatever she had said just now as he continues to talk .

“ not this bullshit again .. ” you said as you bang your head softly against the locker .

kaveh’s eyes grew darker as he said the next few words .

“ about yesterday .. so this... hateful disposition... this cold and sarcastic shell that you wear to hide your feelings... this is all just a cover. you pretend to not care, to make it seem as if you are unaffected by what goes on in your life... so that when people hurt you... when they break your heart... when you end up alone and sad again, crying for help with nobody to answer... you can pretend you never cared at all. the truth is... deep inside... you're lonely. you're just... scared. ” he said , piercing your heart with his sharp gaze .

your eyes widened at his words then you get mad , clenching your fists . he was right , everything he said here was right . you couldn't even deny it .

“ no.. you're wrong. this is all just a waste of time . ” you said , trying to keep up your act .

“and yet here you are... talking to me. trying to convince yourself that you don't need friends. that if you don't even care about others, they can't hurt you. the truth is... you want friends. you want happiness. you just don't know how to have it. and every time you think you're close to something good... somebody hurts you and you lose everything you worked for... so you give up, because trying just isn't worth it. you've been hurt a lot haven't you? ” he tilted his head slightly . the smug smile on his face has now turned into a concerned frown .

you turned away , you hated this guy . you hated how he keeps going up to you , how he keeps talking to you . you already told him that you wanted nothing to do with him , yet he still can't respect that .

or maybe .. you wanted him to continue talking to you , but your pride and ego pushed him away ?

after kaveh noticed you weren't talking anymore he started talking again .

“good luck with that. living your life alone and afraid...  though... if you do need a friend some day, you can always, always come back to me. i may not always be the nicest or the kindest, but i will listen, and i'm willing to help if you want it.” he shrugs then places a hand on his hip .

“ i’m not lonely . i don't need idiots like you .. ” you shouted at him , you could feel that he wasn't going to stop just there . he already knew ..

“and i told you i don't believe you. you can insist all you want, but you're... human, just as much as i am. and humans are social creatures, by nature. there are some who are more introverted and solitary than others, but deep down, we all need someone. ” he stopped to think for a while , then looked back at you in your eyes .

“ 𝗻𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲, 𝗶 𝗯𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲. 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱... 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗼𝗽𝗲, 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲. ” he emphasized the word ‘hope’ .

out of everything he had said , these few words struck your heart . but your thoughts were still holding you back . ‘ what if he's using these words to manipulate me ? ’

“ what are you trying to get out of this ?” you questioned , still feeling suspicious about this guy .

“ i'm not trying to "get" anything. i'm just trying to... convince you that you deserve happiness. that you can be happy. that despite all your past pain, it's never too late to start over. life is hard. nobody gets through it without scars. but... to give up on everything, to give up on making connections... on love and friendships and fun and adventure and joy... that's too hard. it's too lonely... and nobody deserves to be alone.”

‘ this guy ... could he be different ? no... he's probably just like the others .

“is it so hard to admit you want a friend? you want to be happy? you'd rather let yourself be sad, bitter, cold and alone than... open up and take a chance? why? because you might get hurt? but then what are you living for? just survival? what kind of life is that? to be alive, you need to feel. the highs, and the lows. if you just exist and never live... then what is the point? what are you doing with your life? what are you doing with your time?” he continued speaking , continued to fill your mind with all the possibilities you could have if you gave life a chance .

“ that's the point . i live only to exist . ” you glare at him from the corner of your eyes .

“but that's my question: what's the point in existing without living? if there's no joy, no happiness in your life, then what's the point? a life of sadness and pain... a life of bitterness and spite... what kind of life is that? why would you choose it? why would you choose that over... a chance to be happy? to feel the highs as well as the lows? to experience life? ”

you were irritated by the fact this guy is talking so much , why does he have to interfere with your life ?

“ you're saying this ... but there's been people who had said these words in the past before , yet they're the ones who hurt me . I don't believe you're any different. ”

it was true . you've had many people who said these words to you in the past , and you gave them a chance .. and they betray you , again .. again .. and again ..

“but if you never take the time to find out... if you always assume the worst in everyone, then... how can you ever be happy? don't you want to feel joy? to feel alive? because... if you never risk getting hurt, you'll never know what it feels like to truly be happy. life is when you're willing to take a chance even when it might end in heartbreak. life means being willing to make connections and have fun and be alive. life... life means living.”

living .. does living only mean existing in this world ? to survive ? or ... does it mean having fun .. enjoying it ...

“ this conversation was stupid , and i never want to see you talking to me again . ” you said , walking away , leaving the poor boy behind .

kaveh knew he had definitely gotten into your head , so he wouldn't stop there . not yet , never . he will make you feel joy . he will make you see that the world could be a beautiful place .

“ we saw what happened .. ” dehya says as she watched you walk away from kaveh .

“ are you really going to keep pestering her ? leaving her alone is fine , she wants it right ? ” tighnari crosses his arms .

“ no . she's just saying she wants to be alone .. deep down , she still has a little spark of hope in herself , and i will make it bigger . ” kaveh said with a look of determination .

“ i’d say you're quite impressive right now .” cyno smirked softly , clapping his hands .

kaveh smiled . “ i know i can help her .. just watch me . ”