I promise.

You'll never understand.

The words of his professor lingered in his mind, no matter how hard he tried he found himself physically unable to push the thoughts away. They echoed loudly, he found himself growing more and more overwhelmed by the minute. He was currently walking back to his room, his head down as he avoided anyone and everyone. His footsteps were slow, his feet were dragging as he walked. He had to get back as quickly as possible.

The potion-maker was not in the mood for talking right now, any attempts of talking were dismissed rather quickly. Not that many cookies attempted, and for once he was rather relieved. He knew he most definitely looked like a mess right now.

He had spent his entire life trying to learn magic, and it now felt as if everything was crashing down.
A trembling hand pushed open his room door, his vision blurring as a sniffle escaped the cookie. He barely had the chance to walk inside before he fell to his knees, burying his face in his arms as he began to sob.

Tears continued to pour down the mage's face, their entire body shook like a leaf in the wind. His breathing was getting harder and harder to regulate, and he had a terrible aching headache.. and those words.. that conversation.. it still wouldn't stop lingering in his mind.
He eventually forced himself to look up from his arms, his eyes were puffy and tear tracks stained his face - only to be replaced with new tears.

He wasn't sure when he had actually shut the door behind him but he was rather relieved that it was closed.. it would've been incredibly humiliating otherwise. .. He laughed a little, this was already incredibly humiliating. Sobbing on the floor of his bedroom like.. some sort of.. child.

They forced themselves up despite their trembling body, they weren't so sure why they couldn't stop shaking but he presumed it had something to do with their crying which would not stop despite his desperate attempts to cease the crying. Their knees shook and he feared they would end up collapsing from underneath him, he was relieved when they didn't though.

His vision blurred as he walked over to his desk, gripping onto it to prevent themselves from falling over. Everything was spinning.. and was blurry, he hated it, he hated it so much. Why couldn't this simply be over and done with? Why did those words have to linger still?!

They wiped their tears away using their arm, a shaky exhale escaping the mage's mouth as he gripped onto the desk once again. His gaze focused on the items on top of it, scrolls and spell books were scattered across the top of it. His chest raised and fell repeatedly as he tried to collect his thoughts, their professor's words continuing to echo through his mind until it was all they could hear. Another sob escaped the potion-maker as they gripped onto their head, why wouldn't it stop?! Why wouldn't it stop?! God he wanted it all to stop!

He ran a stressed hand through his hair, pulling off his gloves and throwing them at the wall - his shoulders physically tensed as he stared at his desk. His breathing was quick and heavy, he was struggling to properly breathe without it burning his chest. Everything was so overwhelming, far too overwhelming. It wasn't his fault! It wasn't his fault his dough was made this way! Why should he have to suffer for something completely out of his control?! It wasn't fair!

Before he had time to properly process his actions, he had picked up his scrolls and started ripping them up. He struggled a little at first due to his hands trembling but he soon got the hang of it, thanks to his adrenaline.
He continued ripping them up. And ripping them up. Over and over and over and over until the little pieces of the scrolls were littered all over his floor, but he didn't stop there. His chest burned as he kicked at the pieces, tears pricking at the corners of the mage's eyes.

No. He had to get rid of it all, it all had to go. He would be a perfectly good wizard without magic, he didn't need these stupid godforsaken spell books! He wouldn't need magic, he would excel without them! No matter what his professor told him, no matter what anyone- ANYONE told him. He grabbed onto the spellbooks and began ripping apart the pages, he knew this would be a pain to clean but he did not care right now. He kept tearing the pages apart until only the hardback of the cover remained, to which he impulsively threw. Fortunately it missed the wall and landed on the floor nearby.

Prune Juice stared at the remains of the magic resources which now surrounded him, tears rolled down his face. He hadn't even realised he was crying again as he crouched down, sniffling and attempting to clean his face but ultimately just wiping his face on his robe. He was glad he didn't have any other classes today, although if he had he would've simply called in sick for them. It's not like it would've made much of a difference, he would "excel at almost any path" after all.

A trembling sigh filled the air as Prune laid down in the paper, he was well aware he would be regretting this tomorrow when he had to clean it all. But for now..?
A nap sounded nice, really.. really nice. He slowly shut his eyes as he rested his head on the cold floor, it was honestly rather grounding... tomorrow would be hard.. and the days after that would be too. And he was scared, he was really scared. He didn't know what would come of him.. or what would happen when he told his family..

But.. he promised no matter what, no matter what anyone told him.. he'd succeed as a wizard.