Legally Yours

- 8 -

Aiden

I have to say, I was definitely petrified to go into that meeting. Pressure before going into meetings isn't something I'm used to anymore. It truly felt like shit, I felt like shit. If I'm honest I still do, I didn't like touching her. I hated it. Trust me it's not that I don't want to, because if I didn't I'd do it happily.

I feel like I'm touching someone else's girlfriend, as weird as that sounds. She married, legally to me obviously. Technically speaking she's not really with anyone. I can't really explain it. To put it simply, she's not mine. She's not my girlfriend, barely my wife and only just a friend. So forgive me if I'm hesitant to touch her in the near future.

She looked really hurt though when I told her I felt weird touching her and I think that fucked with my head more.

"Aiden? Hello?" Again, her hand is waving in my face to get my attention. I've been zoning out a lot recently, personally I'm blaming it on the withdrawals. I'm sober and have been for five days. It's killing me, I'm aching for some sort of relief but I made Quinn a promise and I really cannot get suspended again. I need that right now to take my mind of certain substances I'm no longer allowed to take.

"Sorry." I pinch the bridge of my nose to try wake myself up a little, once I met her gaze she frowns. Sympathetically, of course.

"No, you're okay. I guess it's a lot for you right now."

"I think a lot is an understatement."

"That bad?" She asks, she has a look of desperation on her face, like she's desperate to do or say something. Similarly to the look my mom used to give me before tucking me into bed as a kid but this is far less severe. "Aiden, if you feel like shit, we can let it rest until tomorrow."

"I appreciate it, Rose. But I promised Quinn, so we have to do it today. If we're lucky no one will see us and I wont have to communicate with people."

"Aiden, look at me." I'm trying to but my head is fucking pounding and I'm really desperate for anything right now. It's really distracting me and it's pissing me off. "You can't let this control your life anymore. I won't sit back and watch you self-destruct like this. You'll have to talk eventually. We both will."

"I know, I know."

"You know but you're not taking any of this in, are you?"

"Not really." I shrug, rubbing my forehead with my hand. "Do you need something? Do you have a headache, I'm very skilled in this department." I'm not going to sit here and disagree with her because I know she's good at this. The amount of times she's gotten my medicine for headaches is uncanny.

"Please? There under the bathroom sink." When I invited her over today, this isn't what I expected us to be doing. Realistically she's supposed to move in tomorrow and we have to take some form of a picture announcing that fact that we're 'married'. At some point today, I had Quinn this morning pretty much breathing down my throat questioning me.

"Here. Do you need water?"

"No, you're a lifesaver, really." I swallow the pills easily, which isn't helping knowing that these fucking cravings are not going anywhere. "Give me an hour and we can go out and take this picture."

"Are you sure? We can wait until tomorrow."

"We have too much to do tomorrow and I'll have countless calls tomorrow if we do it then. I'd much rather to do it today." She nods understandably, sitting back onto the couch. This is fake but I can help but think that I did get lucky.

------------------

"We're here, I called the photographer and he should be here soon." We decided that since we live no where near a decent beach, taking a photo in a field in the middle of no where would be a good idea. However I can understand Gianna's appeal to this area, especially since the sun is setting.

It's nice. It's calm, there's no people and it's really calming me down right now. I need the peace.

"Now I know you don't want to be here long, but one picture won't do. We need at least two or three." She says calmly, snapping me back into reality again. She's really good at that for some reason. "That's fine."

"Really?" I swear her eyes light up, whenever I've been with her and she's been on her phone if a pretty picture of a landscape comes up her eyes light up in that same exact way. I think she likes photography, honestly if I had to give her a job based of her aesthetics alone. That's probably what I'd pick for her. Except the excessive reading she seems to do, I really don't see the appeal. But she said and I quote, 'don't knock it till you try it.' Which to her disappoint I shut that idea pretty down quickly after I looked up what she was reading.

Honestly I was intrigued by the cartoon cover, fucking hell. I don't think I've ever read a book review that smutty.

"Yeah, I don't mind."

"Do you feel better now, at least?" She asks.

"A little, my head isn't killing anymore." It's not, I'm not lying. I'd be lying if I said I felt one hundred percent. But I'm honest, to a certain extent.

"Good." She smiles, before looking over and seeing the photographer, waving him over to us. I don't know how this is going to go but honestly, she looks really happy about it so I won't stop her from doing something she actually wants to do.

---------------

"Now for this next one do you mind, kissing, maybe?" The words hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. It's not the kissing her I'm worried about it's the fucking guilt I know I'm going to feel after. "It't okay, Aiden, it's okay. Don't feel guilty. I expected this." I wish I did, honestly I think she was right about me being dense because I really feel it right now.

"Okay." I nod to her then to the photographer.

Obviously I've kissed girls before, it just feels so weird now. I've never, ever felt guilty about it. It's Gianna and I think that makes me feel worse the more I think about it.

She wraps her arms around my neck, looking directly in my eyes. Now I just feel fucking nervous, I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her closer. This is so fucking wrong, so wrong. But I'm in no rush to stop this. I press my lips to hers and she literally melts into me, this is so weird. I felt more guilty about touching her back then this.

There is something seriously wrong with this.

"Perfect, well done guys. I'll have these over to you in around two or three hours." The photographer tells us, but for some reason I can't take my eyes off her. I don't know what the hell just happened.

"Thank you." Gianna smiles at him and waves him goodbye, I simply nod at him and he turns and leaves. "How are you feeling?" She asks me gently.

"Okay."

"Do you still feel guilty about touching me?" My breath hitches in my throat at her question, because I honestly just don't have an answer for her. I wish I did, I wish I wasn't so conflicted about this.

There's nothing to be conflicted about, she isn't mine and it's that simple.

"Aiden?"

"I don't know." I tell her honestly and she nods. "That's okay, I get it."

I think not seeing my parents happy like this, like how we're faking to be fucked up my head. It's fucked my view of relationships, children grow up around their parents and their relationships. It somewhat grows to be there expectation and all I've got is trust issues and a drug problem.

Go figure.