Just out of my reach ( part 2 of friends)

3 Years. That's how long I have loved this handsome young man. This young man who is strong, and intelligent, and brave, and handsome. Though I can never muster up the courage to tell him these things, I know he knows that he is all these things. He never has a moment of doubt, though I have and still do doubt myself every second of everyday.

I see him almost everyday, but every time we part I want more. I don't know why. I want so desperately to quit thinking about him, but that never happens. If anything I think of him more. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Sometimes I wish he would just pull me up into his strong, capable arms and just hold me. To feel his hand brush mine right before he takes it and holds it tightly in his. That he would be the one to push away all my fears and sorrows.

He calls me his friend, but I don't believe him. He is always mad at me and I don't know why. He always teases and taunts me about the things I like and say. Why is he mean? What have I done to make him hate me?

He often comes up to me and looks like he is about to tell me something, but he always stops and quickly turns Away. And I know why. I'm not good enough for him. He is to perfect for me. Why would someone amazing want to be with ordinary old me?

So I like him from a distance. I watch as other girls, better girls, come along and pull him farther and farther away from me than he already was before. All the while my heart feels like its being ripped out over and over. And hoping that he won't see the tears I secretly shed for him.

So I will settle.

I will settle with him being just out my reach. I will deal with all the teasing and taunting. And all of the mean looks and brush offs. I will offer him kindness and friendship and hope that he will accept at least that.

Maybe one day things will change between us. That he will accept me, and love me. But until that happens, if it happens, I'm content with what I have with him.

He will forever be just out of my reach.