Lost In Lucidity

Social Binds

Without a word, I step into the office and silently cross over to my mother. She sits at the desk typing something on her laptop. I stand there watching, trying to figure out how to greet her when she finally notices me.

"Oh, hi, honey. I didn't hear you come in."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," I tell her.

"That's alright." She says, rolling over to me in her chair and wrapping her arms around my waist. I return the gesture. "Are you feeling okay? You were sleeping for a really long time." The darkness outside tells me that she's right. I blink, and the neighborhood shifts between suburbs and forest.

"Yeah, I was just laying there for a while thinking. You look like you could use some rest, though." I tell her. The bags under her eyes are thick and dark. Even just reliving the memory, guilt plagues my chest.

"I will soon. I have a bit more work I have to get done for tomorrow."

"I'm sorry...."

"No, that's okay. I just fell behind on my own." She reassures me. I don't believe her.

"Is Dad home?"

"No, he's still at work. They have him on the night shift now."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"It was a pretty recent change."

"What about Leigh?"

"I think she's in bed. She has school in the morning."

"Oh yeah, it's Wednesday, isn't it?"

"Mhmm." Mom nods. "Speaking of which, are you ready to go back next week?"

I scratch at my arm and glance at the floor, "Yeah, I think so."

"You don't have to if you're not feeling well still. You can always take another week."

"No, that's okay. I really should get back anyways. I probably already did enough to my grades as is. Besides, you need to be able to get back into work."

"I can go back in any time, Wes."

"I know. But you won't unless I'm back in school."

At that, she doesn't respond. She just purses her lips and stares at the floor. "I bet Valentine will be happy to see you back."

I sit down on the ground and lean my back against the leg of the desk, staring ahead at the open doorway, "It'll be nice to see her again, yeah."

"You don't sound so sure about that." Mom points out.

I shrug, "We just don't talk as much as we used to. She's got a lot of other friends now."

"I'm sure that doesn't mean you matter any less to her."

I defeatedly snicker and hug my knees, "I don't even think she's noticed that I haven't been at school, Mom."

Another round of pursed lips and fingers tapping on the desk as she tries to think of a response, "What about Claireese? Do you still see her around at all?"

I nod, "Yeah, I do. She's got other friends now too, but sometimes we say hi to each other when we pass in the hall. She always seems pretty distant, though."

Mom smirks, "You know what I'm about to say, right?"

"Yeah. That I should reach out more."

"They're not going to bite your head off, Wes. They're your friends; they care about you."

"I'll think about it."

Mom nods, "Okay."

There's a bout of silence, and I feel my throat tighten as my eyes water slightly, "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm not trying to be so negative."