you deserve to be treated like royalty

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ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴏᴛᴛᴏᴍ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇꜱʜᴏᴛ


☁️


having depressive episodes is not new to punz.

his whole life he's had periods where even breathing seems impossible. it gets impossible to get up or eat or brush his teeth or shower, and he feels empty on the inside and, more often than not, he thinks things he really shouldn't, but it's okay! it's normal.

when sapnap officially moved in with him, it was a little different.

he still had episodes and he still lost the will to do just about anything, but he didn't stay glued to his bed like he used to.

it felt wrong, disgusting even, to stay in their bed and make it stink as he did, not leaving and surrounding the area with his own filth and fast food wrappers that made the room look like a trash dump.

it was disrespectful and gross and he didn't like putting his fiancé through that, even if sapnap assured more than once that he was okay with it.

so, when he felt his will to live falling away, he would reside himself to his office (there was no bed in there, but he had a big enough couch).

sapnap always reprimanded him for this and, more than once, tried to force him back into their shared bed, but punz refused to budge.

his fiancé didn't deserve to have his self-loathing in the way of his existence.








regressing is not new to punz.

for most of his adult life, he's depended on the coping mechanism to help him deal with the hell that he felt he was living in. it made it harder to do simple things, like feed himself or shower or clean the house, but it made him feel more alive, so it's okay! it's safe.

when sapnap found out about it, it changed a little.

he still regressed and he still struggled to take care of himself in a way that was adequate, but now he had help.

the ravenette wouldn't admit it, but punz knows secretly that his regression was one of the many strong influences in his fiancé's decision to finally move in.

unprompted, he took the role of caregiver.

he made the little food, kept him hydrated, helped him bathe, and took over the housework when punz was unable to carry his weight (both figuratively and literally).

it was better and safer, and punz found it easier to slip into his soft headspace when he knew that sapnap would be there to pick up the pieces and make it okay again.








having depressive episodes is new to little punz.

the blond has never regressed before during a low patch, probably because he subconsciously knew that the two together would push him over the edge of incapable and leave him as good as dead.

though, that was before sapnap moved in.

everything considered, it was never expected that punz would blink his eyes open, already regressed, and curled up on his office couch in three-day-old clothes with an emptiness in his stomach and a ringing in his head.

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