We Are All Broken 2*Hyunlix*

6.

Days past on as I kept have that same nightmare. Saying the same things over and over again. I no longer wake up screaming, but it always startles me. I never told anybody but Hyunjin about my dream, although I've never told him that i have it almost every night. I feel exhausted every morning, but i always power through the day.

When college began, that put quite a lot of stress on my shoulders. My schedule was jammed packed.

Wake up at 6
Study till 6:45 am
Get ready for the day
School
Get to the dorms
Eat
Study
Go to sleep

My schedule has been like this for a few weeks now. I never had time to spend with Ahjumma, Yeji, or even Hyunjin. Its not like i wanted to ignore them, I just can't help it, im on a scholarship and i need to keep my scholarship.

I think that i've even been starving myself a bit. Its not on purpose, its just i dont have time to eat in the morning or at lunch, i'm never hunger at those times anyways.

Today my schedule was even more packed as i had my therapist session. I never told Mrs. Young about what exactly been going on but i know that if i want to be healthy and if i want to have a future, i must tell her exactly whats been going on.

I knock in Hyunjins door, then i enter and im met with a gloomy boyfriend.

"Hey Jinnie, is everything okay?" I ask.

"No, you barely talk to anybody these days and im feeling kinda sad knowing that my boyfriend isn't even trying to spend time with me."

I look down at my worn out shoes as i try to come up with an answer.

"Well, I've just been really busy with studying lately."

Hyunjin just stays silent as he stares at me.

"Jinnie, i came to ask you if you wanted to go to the boba shop after my therapy session?"

Hyunjin eyes immediately light up as he practically jumps into my arms for a hug. I hug him back. Hyunjin begins to rub his hands up and down my back and sides.

"Lix, have you been losing weight? Im sorry for being so blunt but your ribs are popping out again."

I lift up my shirt and look at my torso in the mirror, finally noticing that i have been loosing weight. I quickly put my shirt down and fiddle with my fingers.

"Um do you want to take me to my therapy session or should i take a taxi?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Ill take you. Felix, can you talk to your therapist about this? Im just scared that your going to spiral again. I really don't want that."

"Im planning on talking to her about it. Can we go now?"

"Sure."

The drive to my therapy session was silent. No one said a word.

Once we get there, i quickly hop out of the car and head to Mrs. Young's office.

I knock on the door, hearing her say come in.

I greet her and i immediately start talking about the dreams that I've been having.

"Mrs. Young, I've been having dreams about me in the mirror calling me fat for about 3 weeks now and im also scared im going to spiral again because i haven't been eating normally because of stress and studying and i haven't even have time to spend with my family." I blurt out, not being able to control myself.

"Okay Felix, i need you to listen to me, can you do that?"

"Of course i can."

"Okay, then lets start with the dreams you've been having. Why do you think you've been having them?"

"Because my life is finally getting on trace so now my fucked up brain wants to throw it all in the trash."

"You know what, i think you just need a break from studying so hard. Here, take this notebook and write 5 positive things about yourself everyday for a month. Tell me how you feel every week. Next time in that dream, i want you to stand up to your reflection, tell him 'I am beautiful, i am health, this is normal, this is right.' You got it."

"Can i have a hug..." i ask on the verge of tears.

Mrs. Young doesn't even hesitate to hug me, i feel a few tears slide down my face as i hug her tightly.

"Thank-you Mrs. Young, for everything."

"Thats my job to help you, im glad you understand and listen to the advise i give you."

"Can i change the subject and talk about how i ask Hyunjin to go get boba with me?"

"Go ahead, this is you're therapy session."

After that i begin babbling about everything till my time was up.

When my session was over, i skip to the car with a little smile implanted on my face.

"You look happy." Hyunjin says as he looks at me with a loving smile.
As i get into the car, i stretch my body over enough to kiss Hyunjin. I quickly peck his lips softy, startling him.

"What was that for?" Hyunjin laughed as he pinched my cheeks.

I giggle, "I wanted to kiss my boyfriend. Can we go to the boba shop now?"

"Sure thing sunshine." Hyunjin says as he turns on the vehicle, earning a smile spread across my face.

Once we got to the boba shop and ordered our drinks, we both sat down outside of the shop on the bench. I scoot myself closer to Hyunjin and I lean my head on his shoulder. I take a sip of my drink before I say, "Hyunjinnie, I'm really sorry I haven't spent enough time with you, can you forgive me?" Hyunjin doesn't even hesitate to say, "I'll always forgive you. I know you were really busy studying. Why don't you study with me in your dorm tomorrow so we can spend more time together?" "I would like that." I whisper in Hyunjins ear.

"Thank you Hyun."

"Thanks for what."

"For everything."

"No, thank YOU for everything."

"I really do love you Jinnie."

"I love you too, forever."