Forgotten | twd | ocxoc

04. High

"Cathrine grimes" I say before anyone could answer her. I see some of their faces, fear in most of them. Guess my dad has a reputation.

"Thi is my daughter. I didn't know she was alive until now" I hear Rick say from behind me. All eyes shift to him, then back to me. "she's gonna be staying with our group from now on?" rick says, yet it sounded like a question, i turn my head seeing him looking at me with his eye brows slightly raised in question.

i let out a short breath, looking back at the group. "yeah, yeah sure" I look down at my feet. I see daryl has my backpack in his hands, he slightly holds it out to me and I take it. I shuffle the knives out of my flannel sleeve, trying not to cut myself and i put the knife back in my waistband. Rick, red, and daryl seem suprised that I had a knife with me the whole time. Im still calling him red since he never told me my name. I leave my pocketknife in my shoe just in case, trust issues? no, its called being careful.

Maybe it is trust issues, sue me for being careful in the middle of the fucking zombie apocoplypse. "You never told me you had a daughter" the second dark skinned lady says, like she was personally offended. "kitty?" I hear from the left of me, glenn. Glenn, my bestfriend. He looked different, not as innocent as he was before. God what these people must think of me, the innocent queit girl who couldnt speak up for herself, now being a complete selfish bitch. The girl who always wore her hair in braids with he my little pony t-shirt. My har used to go down to my waist but when I got left at the farm, I chopped it off to my shoulders. Honestly looks good, a change. There sure as hell been a lot of change. "Hey" I say, looking away from glenn, he looks taken back, suprised like he expected me to run in his arms, saying how must I missed him. But no, I forgot about these motherfuckers, I greived them, I moved on. I shouldnt be angery with them, I was used to being left behind. I just never ecpected them to leave me alone in a farm full of deadly monsters trying to kill me. It just caught me by suprise. Now im feeling all these emotions, hurt, pain, suprise, hatred.

Hatred angled at my dad for not coming back to save his princess. Hatred at glenn for moving on. Hatred at everyone in this fucking world for being so stupid. Hatred at carl for being happy without me. I was selfish. Im a selfish person. I always was but being alone has made me see that im not a good person. I dont want to be anymore, its to fucking hard.

"Lets keep moving" Daryl says, after a long time of awkward silence. I sling my backpack over my shoulder. Rick- Dad- looks at me, lik hes relived, but theres something else in his eyes that I cant pinpoint. Was it hatred? maybe when he looks at me all he sees is shane. The human he killed, the human being that he forced me to shoot. I put my arm slighlty infron of me, signalling for rick to lead the way. He slowly starts walking, along with everyone else slowly following him. I wait until everyone starts walking so that I could be in the back, a couple feet from the rest of the group. I need to smoke, an unhealthy habit I had taken over the course of this year. After the farm I went away to the grocery stores and gas stations, trying to find anything I could use. I cam across a pack of marlibones. Been in love every since. Every gas station or store I go to I happen to find another pack of ciggartees. I even went as far to finding a hand written book on how to roll a blunt. Some druggie must have wrote it incase he forgot how to. I also found a greenhouse full of weed. So now I have at least 100 blunts in the backpack right now. One problem though, my lighter ran out of fuel days ago so I havent been able to have a smoke in days. Which for me is a lot. I get it, okay before shit hit the fan teachers and parnets would pound into my head that drugs and alchohal is bad. But they never said how goos it can make you feel. How good it can feel when you put them out on you skin, the burn on your hand when you push the end of the ciggarete onto your skin. The burn in your throat when you finish one. The way you numb, the way you feel happy. They never mentioned that.