Internet Love

Chapter 2

Hmm, maybe Tyler wasn't so wrong. I'm sure there has to be SOMEONE out there who will like me. I will try this dating website I guess.

I began to fill in my personal information;

Name? Connor Franta

Age? 22

Gender? Male

Sexual orientation?- I hope nobody judges me for this- Gay

Interests? Photography, nature, beautiful things, youtube, the internet?- I don't want to sound like a bore, I love the internet, but I don't want people to think I'm some kind of slob, maybe I won't put that in...

Your Type?- man what kind of questions are these, I don't have a type?!- No type

About yourself- I am a youtuber- wait no, I can't just say that- I'm a blogger/ videographer- yes, much better Connor!- I am a genuine person and am absolutely infatuated by all beautiful things, I'm constantly taking pictures and I love listening to people's stories. The main thing a care about is people using manners and being kind to everyone they meet. Oh, and I'm totally obsessed with coffee and cats.

The questions went on and on, I thought carefully about each one I answered and I tried to be as honest as I possibly could. They ranged from cute things like 'describe your perfect date' to things that were extremely intimate that i didn't feel comfortable answering. I just hope someone likes me.

Finding a picture of myself that I actually liked was the hardest part. I scrolled through my camera roll looking at pictures of me. I felt repulsed. On every picture all I could see was that stupid scar on my forehead. I hate it. I tired hard to ignore it like I do most of the time.

I picked one that I thought was decent and uploaded it....ew.

*CLICK* A message popped up on my screen 'Your dating profile has been uploaded'. Now I just wait...

*A few hours later*

I went to go and make myself a coffee, I couldn't just sit there and stare at the screen, maybe nobody will even read it- I need to calm down. Stop panicking Connor, you'll be fine. The click of the kettle told me that it had boiled, I poured the steaming water into my mug, just watching the tidal waves of dark brown liquid crash against the porcelain. The smell was soothing, god I love coffee.

I could hear my laptop dinging in the other room, alerting me that people were messaging me. I was so excited, I put my coffee down and ran into my living room to look at the screen.

"You have 3 new messages"

I quickly opened the first one, I could hear my heart beat. all it said was

'faggot'.

I stared at the screen in disbelief, as tears started to prick the corners of my eyes, threatening to spill over. The screen went blurry as i clicked the next message.

"Ew, this is not a dating site for queers, go and be gay elsewhere!"

Tears began to roll down my cheeks, slowly and then all at once. Why are people so mean? What did I do to deserve this kind of abuse? What a stupid idea this was. I can't believe I actually signed up for this shit. I curled up in a ball and tried to gether myself before reading the next message. Of course I expect hate from being who I am, but i wasn't prepared for that. I reluctantly clicked the next message...

'Troye Sivan: Hi Connor, I am also a video blogger, I have seen some of your videos and I love what you do, I'd love to speak to you! Well, uh, get back to me if you can :) -Troye x'

I read the message over and over... I can't believe how fast it happened! I was astonished, I was still hurting from the previous messages but this made me feel better instantly.

I moved my mouse over his name to view his profile, it says he's a singer/ songwriter too and he loves photography. And damn, he was cute, I mean I have already fallen in love with his eyes. I just sat there for a few minutes staring into them, I bet they look so much better in person! They were a beautiful, bright blue, surrounded by long, elegant eyelashes. Calm yourself, Franta.

I typed my reply:

"Hi Troye, thank you so much, what's your channel name? I feel so rude that you've seen my video's and i haven't seen yours! x"

He answered instantly:

"It's just Troye Sivan, don't feel rude, it's absolutely fine. Do you maybe want to get a coffee sometime? You're from LA right? (I promise I'm not a stalker, even though it sounds like I am) x"

My heart fluttered at the thought of someone actually wanting to meet me.

"I will watch some of your video's tonight, and sure! I'm free tomorrow if you are?" 

Oh gosh, what if I sounded too eager, I literally started talking to him ten minutes ago and I want to meet him tomorrow?! Dammit Connor, what is wrong with you? That's it, you will have scared him away now!

But wait, he answered...

"Ya sure, Starbucks at 11am?"

I almost squealed with delight, I didn't scare him away, I am going to meet him, oh my god! I can't believe it, I haven't even met this boy and yet he has already cheered me up from those awful messages before, and he doesn't even know it.

I went straight onto youtube and typed 'Troye Sivan' into the search bar. I watched the gorgeous boy talk about anything and everything, I watched his coming out video and even though I don't know him, I felt pride wash over me for him.

I was totally in love with his eyes, his wink at the end of every video was adorable in every way possible. And his accent, oh the beautiful voice he has, I adore it.

Safe to say I spent the rest of my night on his channel. Now I just have to keep myself calm when I meet him.