Nights of Fire & Ash

Chapter 10

The next few days, I couldn't get myself out of bed. I couldn't sleep either though. Every time I tried, I awoke with horrible nightmares of my siblings and parents burning up in that home. I saw Ty screaming and crying being held by the older boys. How could I have let this happen to them?

Echa tried morning after morning to convince me to get up and do something, anything. Tatiana had been in. I saw the bruises on her cheek and by her eyes. I knew that she had probably been punished for my vanishing.

"Please, try to get up for dinner?" Tatiana had laid in bed with me most of the afternoon.

"No, I'm alright. I'm not hungry right now." I rolled my back to her. "Thanks for spending time with me today. I'll just get some sleep." Lies, lies, lies. I may not have felt like eating, but I was starting to get hungry. After 3 days of no food, I was probably going to make myself sick if I ate. I wasn't going to sleep. I would just lay here all night again.

Tatiana left for the rest of the night.

Two days later, I had eaten once, only because Tatiana wouldn't leave until I ate all of it. I continued to lay in bed. The emptiness in my chest felt more prominent than anything else.

After a week, I hadn't been able to move at all. I was just consumed in the nothingness. I was lying in bed staring at the way the sheer curtains moved in the summer breeze when someone walked in the room. I was waiting for it to be Tatiana. She had made it a habit to visit me. I was surprised to see it wasn't her when the door shut.

"Rae, you have to get up." Makiel stood outside of the canopy. I just rolled back over away from him.

"I'm not Echa. That doesn't work for me. You haven't eaten in two days." Makiel walked around to face me again.

"Just go away. I'm fine." I mumbled. I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep.

"No. I'm not going to go away. You're scaring Tatiana." He crossed his arms and leaned up against the wall.

"Let me sleep. I can't sleep when you keep talking to me." I threw a pillow over my head and tried my best to ignore Makiel. I heard shuffling and then someone grabbed me by my feet. I screamed. "What are you doing? Let me go!"

My nightgown hooked up around my hips before I held it down. Makiel looked up and down my legs. I suddenly felt embarrassed.

"Get up, and get dressed. If you don't, I'm taking you outside in that." A smirked hovered over his lips.

"Just knock it off." I kicked at him trying to free my feet. "I seriously just want to get some sleep."

"No, no more pretending to sleep. I can hear you up every night. These walls aren't thick enough for you to pretend like you don't cry most of the night."

Damn, him and his Fae hearing.

"Fine, only if I can have real pants." I crossed my arms. He continued to hold onto my feet. He smirked at me.

"I think that is do-able." He kissed my ankle. I yanked my foot back from him. He chuckled and let go.
"You are disgusting." I glared at him.

"You love me." He glided out of the room.

"Echa, she's decided to get out of bed. Give her a few pairs of trousers and shirts. I want her to look as beautiful as she did on Winter Solstice." He said on his way out of my room and tossed a wink back towards me. I huffed and rolled my eyes.

Echa walked inside slowly after Makiel left. She brought in four matching pairs of pants and shirts. At least, I felt like I had somewhat won on that front.

"I'm happy you agreed to get out of bed." Echa faintly smiled at me.

"I don't think I had the option to disagree." I mumbled. Echa sat beside me on the edge of the bed. She started running a brush through my knotted hair. The bed head that I was experiencing was unfathomable. I had never in my life spent so much time lying in bed. If I had done that before, we would have starved to death. No one was starving now... At least, I didn't have to worry about that. My heart twinged a little bit.

Echa continued to make light small talk and tried her best to distract me. I couldn't even focus on her words. She mentioned something about her sister and something else. By the end of my bath, I was like a new woman. The ash, dirt, and stench of death had left my body. I looked towards the bed.

"Don't worry. We will get those changed as soon as you leave." Echa pushed her lips together. I knew that she was trying to be comforting, but I didn't care about bed sheets. I would sleep in the filthy things. I just didn't care. "Go on. Makiel is wanting on you. He has been sitting outside the door since I came in."

I nodded and made my way out to the corridor.

"You look much better. Well, at least much cleaner. Once you get some food in you, you'll be as good as new." He quickly made his way to the door.

"Thank you, I guess." That felt vaguely rude, but I couldn't make an effort to care. "Since you made me get out of bed, what are we doing?"

"We are going to go take a walk. I think a little bit of sun out on the beach and some fresh air would be good for you." I didn't even have it in me to argue with him. I just let him guide me out of the castle. We walked down the pathway from the castle to the seaside.

The noise of the waves lapping up on the shore was soothing. From the tower, I couldn't hear the the ocean and the waves. It was much more relaxing than I had anticipated. We walked in silence for most of the journey. Finally, we found a ledge to sit on where the ocean water mist grazed my legs as the waves came to shore.

"Thank you." I breathed lightly. Makiel turned his head in shock. His eyes made their way up and down me. He studied my face.
"For what?" He pushed my hair out of my face. The wind whipped my hair in a flurry.

"I needed to get out of that room. I was, I am drowning." Hearing myself say it made it all the more real. I was starting to crumble.

"I wouldn't expect any differently. Grief is all consuming." Makiel ran his hand down my back. That's when I couldn't hold it together any longer. Tears started pouring down my face. For the next several hours, Makiel held me while I sobbed until I was practically dry heaving from the sorrow.

Makiel walked back with me to the castle hours later when the sun had finally set. Once we had made it up the lift, he walked me to my door.

"I guess this is where I will leave you." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I just was wondering if-" He stared into my eyes. His deep chocolate eyes felt like they were so full of understanding. I stopped talking. I couldn't finish.

"What is it?" He caressed my hand.

"I just don't want to be alone while I fall asleep. Sometimes, Tatiana was staying with me until I dozed off. I don't want to bother her though." I felt embarrassed again. I had never shared a bed with a man before.

"Of course. You don't even have to ask." He gave me the smallest smile. He sat with me until I dozed off. It was the easiest time I had falling asleep.

The next time I woke up, the sun was coming up, and Makiel had left. As I started to wake up, I missed him, and I didn't think about missing my family for a few moments.