all I wanted was you-tate langdon x reader

promise?

       you woke up at 11:00 tired af. you rubbed your eyes and walked to the bathroom. you took your toothbrush and toothpaste and went rough on your teeth. you spit out all of the excess toothpaste and went straight to your bedroom to get dressed. you put on a white lace cropped tank top and some bootcut jeans. you chained together the heart necklace you have kept since you were 11. you styled your curtain bangs delicately and put some eyeliner on your waterline. you put some mismatched socks on and tied up your brown converse. as you got up from tying your shoes, you immediately have that feeling in your gut where you want to burn your skin or cut your wrist.

       you quickly went downstairs hoping tate was there somewhere and thankfully heard chattering in the therapy room. you peaked thru who mom was chatting with and saw it was tate. you placed your hand on the doorframe and had only half your eye looking at tate with his legs crossed. as he was discussing about his medication, he immediately noticed you and kept on talking. you didn't even care he realized he found you staring at him, you were captivated by his beautiful eyes. after a minute or so, his therapy session was over. you sat on the chair the nearest to the room hoping tate finds you. luckily, he did.

     "hey stalker" he said sarcastically.
       "tate, i need to go somewhere with you, i have that urge to take more antidepressants than i need again".
      "oh, well I definitely don't want you cutting the beautiful arms of yours, i know a place". he said flirtatiously
        you were flabbergasted by how he called your arms beautiful but then you immediately grab his hands and your brown cardigan and walked out that house.

           you and tate ordered the same thing, iced lattes. both of you guys were talking about kurt cobain, shitty school, kurt cobain again, and then it went to a serious discussion.
"so, i know this will sound hard and it will be, but you really need to stop self harming, it's too dangerous after a certain time" he said cautiously. you went silent for 10 seconds from what he just said.
"just please promise me, you won't hurt yourself again" he said in a caring way.
"i promise" you said. you knew it was a lie but tried to convince yourself you wouldn't self harm again for tate.
"you don't want to end up like me, trust me" he remarked. you looked down at the table not knowing what to say as you were still thinking about the fabricated promise over and over and tried to change the topic.
"wanna go to the beach tomorrow, I know it's Halloween but that will be even better since everyone will either be sick from candy or wasted in a house party" you asked hoping you didn't say anything embarrassing.
tate immediately grinned with his deep dahlia dimples and said "sure, ill bring some firewood and a kurt cobain cassette".
his smile faded after a little while  and you asked him "do you ever feel like...your losing your mind?".
"oh well..you know...on a daily basis" he said while smiling and putting his elbows on the table.
"its just that...I've always had depression and stuff but ever since I've moved into that house...it feels different like...surrreal." you said while staring down at your latte.
"its the house...it destroys every happiness in you...when I used to be alive and living in it...I woke up every day feeling worse and worse until..." Tate cut off.
"Until what?" You curiously asked.
"until I couldn't take it anymore" Tate said obviously trying to cover something up. you decided not to take too much thought into it and began walking with him around LA while holding his hand. something about him, makes you leave the darkness, you always feel like when you aren't with him, the world is black and white, but when you see his beautiful face, it feels like seeing color for the first time.

(YES LANA DEL REY REFERENCE)