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19:32
SATURDAY
SANTA CARLA,
THE DINNER
My mind is thick with question. I press the palm of my hand against the moist skin of my forehead and release the blonde curls from the hold that my sweat has upon them. In the pit of my belly, I feel that something is not quite right and despite the lack of optimism that beholds me, I still try my hardest to find an explanation. Despite all of Sam's allegations of the manifestation of vampires within the population of Santa Carla, I still can not get a grasp on any of his unbelievable claims, though my mind thinks back to Daisy and all of the stories she was so eager for me to believe.
My leg bounces up and down as I sit at the end of my un-made bed. The pale grey of the moon veils over the floor boards and lights up the dim space; my hands clasp together between jean clad thighs. My eyes stare hard down at the clothes that spill out of my backpack. I've gotten too comfortable for my liking here. The last thing I wanted to do was get comfortable with anyone in Santa Carla and the last of my intents was to start trusting anyone. I have met a handful of diverse people; Micheal, Max, Sam, those weird kids that work at the comic book store, but most of all Lucy. My fondness of her has become somewhat stronger than I had realised, not that I am incredibly close to her anyways, but it's close enough.
I begin to pry at the parts of my brain that lacks nurturing and most of all, a mother. It's no secret that mine has never been great at her job, never mind even take care of herself, though the very idea that I may subconsciously be searching for a replacement causes my defence to rebuild. The urge to leave Santa Carla and hit the road again soaks me down but the hold that the place already has on me is stronger. And I can't shake the feeling.
I lean downwards onto my right knee and pull my pill bottle out of my bag and as I untwist the cap, I realise that I am down to my last two. When it hits me that I still haven't registered with a pharmacy near by, I become frustrated with myself. Then the reality drenched through, would my mother be informed if I registered with a new doctor? Of course she would, I'm a minor.
Shit.
Much to my dismay, my hope of hitting the road again tonight is crushed. Should I confide in Lucy?
You can't trust anyone.
As I feel feel the thoughts flood in, I pour one of the pills into my palm and swallow it dry, pushing back my anxiety for perhaps one of the last times. I breath inwards in attempt to calm my nerves. I can't go back to the nightmares. It was never unkept that I had severe anxiety since I was a child. Heck, of course I do after that things my Mother has put me through.
But you haven't been without the pills in a long time.
I shrug off the unwelcome thought and repack my bag. In need of a distraction, I wrap my checkered flannel around my upper body and make my way down the two flights of stairs that leads to the hallway. Before I can leave, Laddie makes his way into my mind. Had he recently been missing from the boys? That poster seemed dated in appearance, with wrinkled corners and odd tears around the edge. I can't seem to shake the feeling that something really isn't right but before I can continue the whirlwind of thoughts, there is a knock on the door.
