I hope I become deathly ill
As a child
I hoped
Prayed
Obsessed.
That a terrible misfortune
Would fall upon me.
I wanted to see how many people
Truly cared for me.
I wanted to feel seen
I wanted people to notice me,
Even if it was for the wrong reason.
I wanted people to reach out to me,
To check in on me.
I suppose this,
In and of itself
Made me sick.
Because a person
Should not
Desire to fall ill
Z-
