Hyper Hopin' Bananas

It was midnight when Gamma Hizaki came across a block of cherry-sauced tofu eating a convenience store banana. Not that it was anything new to him, not when he had a youkai, a phantom thief, and a ghost as friends.

Looking again at that "tofu" after a good sip of a cup of hot chocolate he bought with a bunch of bananas, though, Gamma found that his tired eyes had tricked him. Still, the truth was otherworldly, as he saw a young woman with sharp black horns and sparkly crystal wings and... Was that a black halo made out of stars?

Whoever she was, Gamma couldn't deny the beauty before him. Though if the frown on her face, the knuckles on her cheek, and the pile of banana peels on her table didn't put his pickup plans on hold there, the convenience store setting and his missing pencil and sketchbook would.

And then he saw her giving him a stinky side eye, which rolled away when their eyes made contact.

"Something on my face, Miss?" Gamma asked, standing still as he tilted his head. He had a feeling that she wasn't one who easily warmed up to men, a trait his phantom thief friend Uyu liked to bluntly teach him about whenever Gamma asked for pickup tips and tricks. Still, the club-loving artist loved seeing the ladies smile, and this lady seemed to love bananas.

"Oh, god, he even sounds like him," she groaned, talking like he wasn't even nearby.

Had she just come from a breakup? Was her lover making her jealous? If you asked Gamma, life was too short and too fun for being mopey and paranoid, and if he understood his phantom thief friend right, girls had it even harder in life, especially thanks to guys who looked like the party animal mangaka, among others.

Now, what would be a good way to break the iceberg between them?

Gamma looked down at his freshly washed cloth bag filled with bright yellow bananas.

Then he looked up to gather his guts with another sip of hot chocolate.

And then he put the bananas on the lady's table as he sat across her.

"Are you coming on to me?" she asked, giving him even stinkier eyes, though wow, that red-blue heterochromia was pretty even there.

But no, Gamma had to blink and shake back into focus. "No, but you might want a friend and some bananas, and I love bananas. Also, I still got this hot chocolate. A bit, now that I look at it again, but whatever."

After a few more seconds of those narrowed eyes, the lady took her newest bananas, placing them right beside her peel pile, which soon ended up updated again.

"Well, at least it's not alcohol," she muttered before biting off half of her latest unpeeled bananas, reducing the remnants of her old bunch of bananas to one. "Would've hated cleaning the blood off this place if you gave me that."

Again, Gamma wondered how he ever survived all the flirting he ever did to supernatural women. Not even that easily stopped him, though, so... "Bad club experience?"

"Ugh, I wish it was," the horned and winged lady then put a hand to her face as she ate the rest of her latest banana. "It's just a quiet little bar, and a...female friend likes hanging around the bartender guy there. Seems like he makes her laugh more than I do, and...yeah, I'm jealous."

"You seem better than most people tend to be about feelings like that," Gamma remarked.

"Still hurts like a bitch, though," she cursed as she went for her old bunch's last banana. "And you don't just sound like the odd-eyed bartender guy, you even look like my ratty little friend with those colors! What are you, their son? Someone crushing on them both? Or both?"

Gamma realized who she was talking about. When he felt in the mood for a quiet night out, he would go to Bar Robel, where he would sometimes find a chaotically cute and similarly themed rat girl named Bae chatting stuff up with Roberu, the owner and bartender. Though like most who knew Roberu enough, he seemed more in touch with this crazy odd-eyed girl named Mea, and Gamma almost let that thought have himself laugh out loud while he was trying to have a serious conversation with Bae's female friend here.

So after coughing away the urge to laugh, he put his fist on the table and gave her a serious look. "Maybe you should talk to your friend about how you're feeling."

She looked away with a blush all over her face and took a banana from the new pile. "About that... I did try a bunch before, but...I keep on making it a stupid argument. I'm surprised that she's still bothering to be around me, too, even when she mostly gives me some mean looks."

"Sounds like you got a real friend there, then!" Gamma brightened. "She's like my friend Uyu, he keeps on nagging at me for being so gross around girls and for groaning so much about my luck with girls, but he still sticks around and does all this bro stuff with me and our other bros! Guy's got way real game and class and he knows it, and we love him for it!"

Then he found the also odd-eyed lady giving him a wide-eyed look.

"Not like I know her that well, though," Gamma then let out an awkward laugh and raised an open palm along with his slightly filled cup of hot chocolate.

And then she let out a snorty laugh that somehow sounded melodic, which caused Gamma to let out a sigh and smile of relief.

"Nah, I think Bae's more like you even in personality," she said as she opened her latest banana up and further confirmed the identity of her friend. "But I'm glad you appreciate her that way. With class and honesty. I should gather up more of that."

She then ate the banana in quick bites.

Gamma took the chance to finish his cup of hot chocolate, feeling them until the drops went grainy.

Then, the flame-haired man faced the cherry-haired woman with a smile. "I guess my job here is done, Miss...?"

"IRyS," she answered, smiling back. "All caps except for the y. Don't ask me why, though."

"Why?" he asked back, somehow causing her to laugh harder. But before he forgot! "Oh, and I'm Hizaki! Gamma Hizaki!" With the rocker hand gesture, of course!

"Well, nice to meet ya, Banana Bro!" IRyS replied with another banana from the bunch he gave her. "Sorry, uh, hope," and then she suddenly coughed, as if holding back a snicker for some reason, "Hope you don't mind that. I think it's way cuter – I mean, a lot better on you. And I love bananas a lot."

Uyu's reminders of "Friendship first!" rang in Gamma's head as he fought a blush creeping up his face and regret flooding him about not having his pencil and sketchbook. "Sure, why not? I love bananas too!"

"Oh, then as commemoration for the beginning of this beautiful friendship, do you mind if you peel my next banana for me?"

"Oh yeah! I'll even serve it to you the bro way, Miss IRyS!"

"Wait, 'bro way'? What do you mean by – Mmph!"

After yet another bro job well done, Gamma managed to leave the convenience store and return to his apartment, throat sore from the coughing, cheeks achy from the smiling, and both wide from the banana stuffing IRyS gave him in return.

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Author's Note: I don't think Gamma knows what the bro job joke is (unless he already knows through stuff like that one Axel-shared JP-subtitled clip about the origins of his fellow VSaikyo players Team Snake Bite's name, an idea that's also making me go "DO NOT WALLOW, BANANA BRO IS HERE TO SWALLOW" while discussing this fanfic), but I'm sure he knows that one of the joke nicknames for him is DVTuber, with DV meaning domestic violence. As for IRyS here, her 2023 Valentine's voice pack gave me the idea of her kinda casually mentioning the idea of cleaning Gamma's blood off the convenience store.