The Fall of Vequera

Chapter thirty-eight | Amaryllis

TW MENTIONS OF: EATING THINGS THAT AREN'T SUPPOSED TO BE EATEN. (Technically not cannibalism), MURDER, PARENTAL ABUSE & NEGLECT (MOMMY ISSUES), SELF-HARM: STARVATION.

LOCATION: EASTCLIFF, ELER

YEAR: 621 C.E

"YOU ABANDONED ME," MARY SHOUTED AT HER MOTHER. "WHEN I NEEDED YOU..."

"I needed you." She found herself repeating the sentence until she began to sob. Tears spilled from her eyes and she could not stop them as they fell. She didn't dare to try. It felt like she was drowning in her mind. Into her tears. It was an endless stream of grief and pain. What was she to do? When all she wanted was to scream at her mother for leaving her. She was merely a child. Her mother may have been buried in her grief what about the child she left behind? The helpless child.

"I'm here. Now. I am trying my best, Mary." Her mother whispered, placing her hands on Mary's shoulders.

Mary shrugged out of her mother's arms. Her touch did not feel right. "Your best is not enough. I am twenty-one and the most you've done for me in my whole life is leave me." Mary wiped away her tears with her sleeve and backed away from her mother. The fireplace raged behind her but it slowly calmed. It made her think of Valia. Her fists slammed into her sides as her breathing became harder to deal with. She couldn't....think. Everything was too heavy. Too hard. Her visions over the months have become too much to bare. She just wanted to escape from her mind. And her mother was not helping.

Anessa looked at her daughter with a pained expression. Her mouth opened and closed with hesitation. Fighting with her mother would not help her struggles. It would only make it worse. "Did you know there were days I refused to eat? Not because I couldn't find food. It was because starving myself was the only time I could feel anything that was under my control. Like I had my life in my hands for once." Tears fell down her mother's face as she sat down in one of the dining room chairs. She looked defeated. Like Mary had just drained the life from her.

"What do you want me to say?" Anessa pushed out, slowly as she wiped her tears away.

"I want to know why?" Mary answered.

The tone of her voice shook and she could barely get words out. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them saying a word. Mary ran both of her hands through her hair and pulled at her roots. And a sharp laugh escaped from her as she looked at her mother. "I do not know why I even asked." She began to leave the room but her mother's voice stopped her.

"You remind me of him. His face. The way he acted. The way he loved. It was too much. I-I just needed to breathe and I got carried away. I kept telling myself this time...I will return and be a good mother to you but every time I saw your sweet little face, I could not bare it. In Farwater, I am reminded of his life but when I look at you, you remind me of his death. His end." Mary got the answer she wanted but why did it hurt so much? She thought she would find some relief but it never came. Only pain and loss.

A raw emotion. It was like ice-cold water had just been dumped over her. "Do you not love me?" Her words came out clear and sharp. Like a sword had just been driven into her. She backed away, preparing herself for the next wound to rip her open. Her mother didn't move. She didn't speak. It was like she was frozen.

Then Anessa stood up and walked over to her, placing her hands over Mary's cheeks. Cradling Mary's face in her cold hands. "Why would you ask me that? I do. I do love you. I will always love you. You are my daughter."