Letters Left Unsent

Chapter 2

Backstory Continued

July 17th 2011

Today is the day of my party, for my high school graduation. We have to be there soon to decorate the ballroom. It's very enchanted. Very princessy. The best part is that even though I and Brayden can't be together.... He promised he'll be here!

I stood there with my mom, who is also ecstatic she'll get to see Brayden as well. She adores him. She hasn't seen him in two years. Well, she saw him about a year ago for like two minutes when he walked past her. Honestly, since our fight at the end of sophomore year... Nothing has been the same. He's distant and cold and callous towards me.

Besides that, she hasn't seen him since. At the time, he and I were in a fight so he didn't bother stopping and saying hello.

I heard rumors I was the only girl to ever break his heart and he did nothing but cry and sit around depressed after our fight. All I had done was call him out for the negative ways he was treating me.

I still blame myself. I knew he was into me. Maybe he just didn't know how to show it. Maybe I was too harsh. I know he's delicate. He always has been. I shouldn't have been so assertive.

A few hours later

I stood in the bathroom with a family friend, doing my makeup preparing for the party, and making my entrance. She's ten, and autistic, so I happily explain my steps and reasons behind why I do different things.

Such as putting powder on after my liquids. Why do I use a primer before foundation, but yet setting spray after my entire face is done?

I quietly kept listening for Brayden. Although he didn't show up to help like he said he would. I just assumed he was running late at work and let it roll off my shoulders.

Then it happened. Alexis, my mom's friend's daughter, asked me if I had a boyfriend. If so, is he coming? I just pause for a minute staring myself down in the mirror as if that would soothe me. It did not.

"Well...." I trailed on trying to think of a way to put it in which she would understand. Her mom, Melissa, knew of the situation. So I knew she had to have picked something up to ask that question.

Again, how do you explain a situation where you're emotionally attached to someone who will never want you in the same way again? With her being autistic... It feels like an impossible task.

Most of my cousins I grew up with are autistic as well. So it wasn't a foreign concept to me. She's just a bit different because she has the worst level of it. With the mentality of a child a few years younger, rather than a ten-year-old girl blossoming into a young woman.

Aha! My uncle has been dating her mom on and off since my aunt died. So maybe if I use that situation she may understand somewhat.

"Well, you know how your mom and Sergio have been in love for a long time and don't know how to make things work? How are they are happier as friends than as boyfriend and girlfriend? It's like that. Except I like him as a boyfriend, and he likes me as a friend. I'm sad because I want more with him. He's really awesome, but he doesn't want anything but to be my best friend." I give her a fake, but small smile. Although there's a lot of hurt behind it.

"Oh okay!" she says with a smile.

I sigh to myself trying not to let her see that I'm letting a boy get to me. She looks up to me and I can't let her do the same thing and follow in my footsteps.

Finally, I finish my makeup and go do my hair. In no time, I put my dress on and the parties started. I curled my hair in a half up half down style, with a big dress on. One that requires skirts and petticoats underneath.

As the party goes on, I keep waiting by the door, waiting, and searching, for Brayden to show up. "Any minute now." I keep thinking to myself.

Eventually, it's halfway through the party and I feel a tap on my shoulder. My body warms thinking my best friend finally showed. Just because he doesn't love me even in a completely platonic manner, doesn't mean I can't still love him even if it has to remain platonic. It makes me a better friend.

I turn around with a smile, just to be let down that it's my teacher. Soon a graduation march plays from the DJ, shouting congratulations to me.

Don't get me wrong, I was so so grateful for all the effort everyone has gone to, to celebrate me. It just hurt, because everyone showed, except the one who means the most. As cliche and ridiculous as that sounds. I'm not naive to how stupid it is to feel that way.

We talk for a moment, and he hands me a graduation gift. I place it with the others that are now piling up on the table.

As the night goes on I keep watching the door, just to be let down every time.

My teacher, Mr. Darther asks me where Brayden is. My eyes fill up with regret and frustration just at the sound of his name. Finally, I do what I have been wanting to do for five years.

"Honestly? He promised he'd be here. Just like he has for two years now for my birthday. He's nothing but a jerk that plays with my emotions." I say sternly knowing it'll make its way back to a classmate. Then they'll tell him. Good.

August 18th 2011

My first day of beauty school! I'm so excited. Last night I got a text from Brayden asking me not to go to college. As he say's I'll just "Forget all about him" and move on. If we're not a romantic item, why does it matter if I "Move on?".

I walk in and take a seat in class. Happy and excited to be here. I pull up my phone and begin texting Brayden before class starts. Expressing my excitement and how I can't wait to start this new chapter of my life.

Maybe it'll give me purpose. I look down to see he is not answering me or even looking at my texts which is weird.

September 2011

Many of the girls at school have disclosed to me that Brayden didn't actually have a girlfriend. That he was flirting with every last one of them on that Instagram app.

Seriously?! He can't be honest with me, has been pushing me away, and now I find out he didn't want me to come here because all of his women are here and I'm not one of them? Oh hell no!

The Next Day

I got to school today to find out all the other girls went to where Brayden hangs out and confronted him. He of course made me out to be a psycho....

He told the other girls that he doesn't know me anymore, that we haven't talked in five years, and that I'm just a psycho stalker. That broke me. Not even because of any non-platonic feelings I've ever had for him, but because it's one lie after another and I always take the fall for him.

So, what I did was I pulled up screenshots of our conversations from literally yesterday. And within the hour, I was blocked. What the hell... and now just like in high school.... He made me look like a psycho...