He's mute, not deaf

Chapter 10

Tw for this chapter: Ableism, talk of suicide, talk of death, fighting/yelling, talk of past death

"Is it ignorance? Or is it because you're too stuck up in your own ways to actually explain it to people?" Techno snapped back.

"Oh my fucking prime, it is ignorance. I shouldn't have to explain all of the trauma that made me this way. Instead of asking a million fucking questions and being ablest maybe you should just accept it for what it is Techno! God damn you piss me off." Tommy ranted and he stood up from the table.

"I don't know what it is, that's the fucking problem. You have never been able to actually explain what it is past the name of it." Techno said, folding his arms. Phil by this point had given up on trying to stop the fight, so instead he just sat there with his head in his hands.

"I'm done fucking talking to you about this anymore Techno. Time and time again I tell you the same thing and even now I explained why I am the way I am, and you still don't fucking listen." Tommy said and then he walked out of the room, all the way upstairs and to his room.

Techno and Phil sat there for a moment, to which Phil eventually sighed and stood up.

"I'm not wrong." Techno said as Phil moved towards the doorway. He turned to look at Techno, a frown on his face.

"I didn't raise you to be ablest, especially not towards your brother. You know why he's a selective mute, he told you the specific reason. It's really unfortunate that you are acting like it's not good enough of a reason. I remember that day, better than anyone else. What he saw was traumatizing, and his reaction and what that led to is fair." Phil said calmly.

"So many watch other people die and they don't go mute over it." Techno grumbled and Phil frowned even more, if that was even possible.

"How do you know that?" Phil asked, and when Techno didn't seem to have a reply he left the room.

~~~

About half an hour after they got home Tubbo's mom finally came inside. When Tubbo had heard the car door open and close he moved out of the doorway so he wouldn't get hit by the door when she came inside.

He instead moved onto the staircase, since he didn't want to go upstairs and face Ranboo quite yet. He sat with his elbows on his knees, his hands holding his chin. When his mom noticed him on the stairs she gave a sad smile at him.

"I'm sorry that you feel the way you do about what is going to happen if we lose Boo." She said quietly.

"When." Tubbo said lightly. She looked over at him. "He's going to die at some point mom, so it's not if, it's when."

"There's the trial Tubbo, it could work, there could be progress." She reminded him but Tubbo shook his head.

"Dad did a trial too remember. Now the fucker sits on our mantel in a jar." Tubbo scoffs as he moves to stand up.

"Tubbo, do not speak about your father that way." His mom snapped and he rolled his eyes and he went to turn around.

"When he tells me not to call him a fucker I'll stop." Tubbo called and he began to go up the stairs to the room he shared with Ranboo.

Opening the door he saw Ranboo was on the bottom bunk of their bunk beds. He had his back turned so he was facing the wall. Without even seeing his face Tubbo knew that Ranboo was still silently crying. He didn't know what to say to him so he went and climbed onto his bunk on top.

They were silent for a few moments, other than Ranboo's occasional sniffle. When even that began to die down Tubbo thought maybe Ranboo was falling asleep, until he spoke.

"I don't want you to kill yourself once I die." Ranboo said and Tubbo rolled his eyes.

"You're the one who said that I was going to!" Tubbo objected.

"It doesn't mean I actually want you to." Ranboo rebuttals but Tubbo doesn't say anything. Ranboo then stood up so he could look at Tubbo in the eyes. "I fucking mean it, I don't want you to kill yourself as soon as I die."

"Why does it matter to you? You'll be dead." Tubbo said as he sat up.

"Because that means I am the only reason why you're alive now." Ranboo said and Tubbo gave him a strange look. Tubbo could still see the slight tears in his eyes.

"Why does that matter? Why does it matter that you're the only reason why I'm alive now?" Tubbo asked, confused.

"Because I am not a good enough person to stay alive for, I am not a good enough reason for someone else's existence. So you saying that I am the only reason why you are here is bullshit. And you need to find some other more permanent reason why you should stay alive." Ranboo said, tears falling down his face as he ranted. Tubbo bit his lip for a moment before speaking.

"Ranboo, you are the most important person in my life. We have gone through everything together, you were there for me when I got diagnosed and I was there when you were. You were there when we found out dad died, and you stood next to me as I tried to read his eulogy at his funeral. When I couldn't finish it you did. We went through foster care together, you have helped me through episode and you have talked me out of every single suicide attempt. You are solely the only reason why I am still alive. Without you I would not be here, so why would I be here without you?" Tubbo asked.

This apparently was not the best thing to say because Ranboo began to fully break down again. Tubbo felt bad so he climbed back down from the bunk bed and gave Ranboo a hug. Ranboo clutched onto him and for a moment he just cried even harder.

"I can't live knowing that you're gonna fucking die after I do. I don't want that to happen to mom. I can't do it." Ranboo sobbed, shaking in Tubbo's arms and Tubbo felt something rise in his throat.

"Then I won't Boo, okay? I won't kill myself after you die." Tubbo lied.

Word count: 1100