My Darkest Endearment

Chapter One

(Ninas POV)

Knowing something has always been different about yourself, but never being able to pinpoint what that is exactly? Can be very frustrating at times for me. Feeling out of place, not being able to relate to others. Wishing I could be more outgoing. I know I struggle with these things, but in the pit of my stomach, there's more. Will I ever figure it out, will I always be this lost? Especially remembering small glimpses of the terror I experienced when I was a child.

Deciding that I didn't want to be in my thoughts anymore, it was time for me to get ready and start my move. From what I could recall I lived in Washington most of my life, I just barely turned 21 and I decided it was time for a change. I set my eyes on Oregon, near Wolf Creek. I wanted to stay near the ocean, it is what I was familiar with and what I loved the most. And something about Oregon was calling out to me. Trust me I know it is cliché, but I usually like to follow my instincts.

Luckily I didn't have much to bring with me, I lived in a studio apartment. Only needed to pack up my bed, a desk, and some other small things. I decided to sell my car for some extra cash, knowing that when I moved into my other studio apartment in Oregon I could take the bus for a while, and find another cheap car. I also made sure I had a job lined up before moving. Just a normal waitress job, at your typical diner. Small town equals dining. Which I'm okay with, this will all lead up for me to jump-start my career and find the right path to be on.

I had already packed up the night before, so I was ready to leave right when I woke up. And that's what I did. My alarm went off at 7 am, I was up and ready to go. I didn't want to unpack while it was dark out. I wanted to give myself time to unpack with daylight. As I jumped into the U-haul, I sat for a minute making sure I had everything I needed before starting my new journey. Most importantly I made sure I had my picture. A picture of my parents, and the only one. I make sure I hold on to it closely even though I have such little memory of them, I knew they were good-hearted people. And I was loved by them. I wonder if at times what happened that horrific night, my memories wouldn't be so suppressed. A defense mechanism. As people call it. I shake my head, feeling stressed just thinking about it. I come back to reality. Focus Nina it's the past and it will never change, I am moving forward now. Finishing myself a mental pick-me-up speech I turn the engine on and head out.

Only a few hours left to drive, and I can't wait to be done. I look over to the passenger side of the U-haul and I see my two furries sleeping, enjoying the long drive with me. Sparkey and Eza-Nova, my babies... my best friends. I found them when they were puppies, stranded down the alleyway of my old apartment building. I was 18 at the time freshly out of the orphanage. Ever since then we never looked back.

From the moment I entered the state, I knew it was right for me. Oregon is beautiful, with all the big trees and the familiar ocean breeze. I never minded the coolness, and when it does get hot it stays in the 80s usually. I hate being too hot, so I made sure this place best fit my wants and needs. And making a big change like this, I knew I needed to be happy, and satisfied with this outcome. Putting in all my blood and sweat was hard enough as it is.

I am finally pulling into my new apartment building, it's around 4 pm now, so it was perfect timing. I get out and I take the biggest stretch, which felt amazing. I look down at my pups and I see them do the same thing, I smirk and chuckle at them. I bend down to their level and give them kisses.

"Hi there! I couldn't help but notice you are moving in too?" I hear a deep voice say from behind me, I stand back up turning around to face the man who is somewhat approaching me. I see he has a friendly smile plastered on, maybe indicating he's no stranger danger. But you can never be sure, especially me being a woman, a tiny one as it is.

"Hi... um yeah. And I'm guessing you are?'' Remembering he said "too" and I can see his moving van from behind him as well.

"Heh yeah, I'm kinda glad I am not the only one. My name is Jake. You don't mind if I ask yours?" He seemed pretty chill, should I tell him my name? Why not? I think I could trust him with just my first name.

"No yeah I don't mind, it's Nina." I give a friendly smile, not knowing what to say next. This is where my social awkwardness comes to play.

"Nina... nice. Well you know I just finished unpacking my van, and I figured I could give you a hand. If you don't mind obviously?" He scratches the back of his head, I could tell he was shy. And probably just trying to be nice, but I wasn't sure if I felt comfortable.

"Well, obviously it's okay if you say no. I know I'm a stranger. I mean not like a creepy stranger! Just like we both are and I'm just trying to make friends. Ya know? I mean we are both new here? Heh, I'm just rambling I probably should go..." Jake starts to turn around with his head down while still scratching his head. I knew he felt embarrassed, and maybe he was really just trying to help.

"Hey, no yeah I wouldn't mind help. I could use the extra muscles!" I see him stop and turn back around. "You sure?" He had an eyebrow raised even though his glasses were big I could tell, and for some reason, I wanted to laugh. I just know he has a goofy personality. "Okay great! What should I start with?"

"We'll start with the small things and make our way up towards the big things. It's not much so we should be done quickly." I say while I move to the back of the U-haul and opened it up. Revealing nothing crazy, but all the things that represent me, basically packed into a tiny big box. If that even makes sense?

"Okay sounds great! And hey sorry about earlier I know I ramble a lot. Let's just say that didn't happen?" He chuckles nervously while grabbing a box.

"What happened earlier?" I go and grab a box as well, understandably knowing exactly how he feels. I tend to ramble from time to time. "Thanks." He gives a light smile while we both head to my new studio apartment.

Luckily my place was only on the first floor. I wanted to make sure I could get one on ground level for my pups, the community is dog friendly and I asked if I could get a doggy door installed, they allowed it just had to pay some extra fees. Which seemed reasonable and typical. Turns out Jake is also on this same floor just the opposite side from me and on the other end. I thought what a coincidence, but then again understandable.

About an hour and a half passed by, and we were finally done. I thanked Jake for his help, he had to leave right away to go return his van. I had to do the same but I had until tomorrow to do it. I was planning on dropping it off, and then right after take the bus to my new job. At this moment I didn't even want to think about doing anything anymore. I was exhausted.

I closed my door and locked it. Turned around and just see all my things scattered everywhere. Again the last thing I wanted to think about was organizing and cleaning. But I had no choice I wanted to get it done, plus I needed to keep myself busy or I will pass out and that's probably not smart. I need to at least get the important things unpacked. And in the end that's what I did for the rest of my evening.