Awaken, my Love

Awaken, my Love (The Last Time he Saw Dorie by Copeland)

The walls were pink. May hated the color pink. She had some suffocating experiences with the color in the past. But this was the worst pink of all.

It was one of those nursing home corridor types. Sort of prepares the elderly folks for the colors ahead. Except you can't see the colors when you're dead. Which is what Zane was.

There he lay in all his splendor. Zane Alexander Archer. His dusty brown hair, his slightly pink lips, his now pale, almost grey face. His golden eyes shut tightly. She longed to gaze into them once more. But they were sealed, sealed on this earth. She knew they were open up in that big Broadway in the sky. His was singing his heart out up there, she could hear it.

Broadway. She couldn't believe they'd been on Broadway together. Then they had moved down to D.C. for her to start working at the Smithsonian. It was a team effort, but they finally got the National Museum of the Performing Arts started. The museum went over well with the public, and they considered it almost as their child. Their performance on Broadway had earned them Tony Awards, and she was proud of the fact that Zane received the most.

And then cancer had riddled his body. As they received the news they sat together, their fingers entwined like intricate webbing.  She followed the doctor's lips in disbelief. It was almost as if she should have been the one to have the cancer. Time and time again she wished to remove Zane's pain and put it on her own body.

She watched him slip away. But he always fought, even when he knew the strength he had was failing. They powered through tough situations together, hand in hand. Then the days got harder. One week, he dictated to her all he wanted in his will. She felt sick the whole time. And then he enclosed to her his secret recipes, like his cookie recipes.  He told her "Have a cookie party."

And she did. The party was three days before he died. He sat on the couch the whole time, much thinner but making people laugh. It was the day before his last round of Chemotherapy.

The next day after Chemo he reported to her that he felt worse than usual. She rushed him to the hospital. That night he knew he wouldn't make it much longer. They lay on the hospital bed together, hands clasped tightly, and occasionally stealing kisses, both short and long.  At 2am they were still awake when Zane turned to May and said "Chin up Kiddo! I'll see you on the other side." And then he was gone.

Nurses rushed in and it was all a blur. All May remembers is watching his eyes close and his hand in hers turning cold as stone. Tears welled up in her eyes. When the nurses saw her sadness, they didn't have the heart to move her, and they let her hold Zane's hand until the morning.

And she longed to hold his hand as he lay there now. Her eyes did a quick sweep of the room to the clock. There were 15 minutes until anybody else would arrive. In a swift motion she glided over to his corpse and held his hand in hers.

"Zane. Zane, baby. I can't believe this. I never saw this coming. All the cancer, your death. We're only 25, you and I. Well...no, you're 26. You were...I...I love you beyond words. The first time you swept me off my feet, literally, I actually loved it. I was in love. You saved me and made me believe in relationships again. And now you're gone. My love, my life. I miss you. I know I'll see you again someday."

"Ahem!"

May removed her hand from Zane's and looked up, confounded. It was her favorite high school teacher, probably here to avoid all of the crowds. She ran quickly to shake his hand, but instead he gave her a small hug.

"Hello, Mr. Feldman." "I heard about Zane. I'm sorry May." He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Then both looked up as the swishing noise of the door startled them both. After Mr. Feldman some non-immediate family stopped by, and so did many of Zane's high school and college friends. Some mutual friends from high school dropped in as well.

While things were starting to slow down, May sat and stared at Zane's body once more. So overcome was she that she didn't hear the door swing open, nor did she feel the chill. She touched his cold hand once more and then felt someone touch her shoulders. She spun around quickly. "Cam?"

He looked her dead in the eyes and simply said: "You always hated pink."

And she broke down.