carmine | original

chapter 4

"jasmine ..."

she steps farter into my room and he face doesn't change from the scowl she greeted me with. she stares down at me and then over at krystal and kiwi."get out."

"who you talkin' to?"krystal starts standing up but kiwi grabs her just as i grab jasmine by the back of her jacket when she shifts her stance.

i apologize and then politely ask them to leave but tell them i'm i'll be down in the lobby when me and jasmine are finished talking. after a short standoff between krystal and jasmine, they leave and as soon as the door closes jasmine pulls my hand off her and pushes it away.

she stays quiet and stares at me while walking to sit on my windowsill."why haven't you called me?"

"maybe because of the restraining order."

"for what fucking reason did you need a restraining order?"she yells and all i do i gesture towards her."why haven't you called me after the fact?"

"jasmine we haven't talked to each other in 3 years-"

"that's because i've been calling you and you haven't been answering,"she tells me and points to my phone."why didn't you answer me?"

"jasmine stop yelling-"

i don't get a chance to say more before i'm cut off by a rant about how she feels like i don't want her around anymore and that it's making her feel like a burden."when we spoke last time, i thought you changed but then after that i didn't hear from you."

"because i went to rehab jasmine ... and even before that, you went to jail,"i sigh as she shakes her head at me."we weren't even supposed to be speaking to each other anyways. we agreed on that and then-"

"you two agreed, i didn't agree on anything!"she yells, standing up and walking over to me."you act like we weren't even together! like all our time together meant nothing! you didn't even tell me you were gonna be gone for that long! you didn't even care how it made me feel!"

i groan at her and as soon as i open my mouth, more yelling is added to her rant."just say it! you didn't even care about me did you?"

again, i'm cut off before i can get my piece out and she keeps going.

"if you cared about me as much as you said, you wouldn't have let him and his rules stands between us."

the rest of whatever she's saying goes in one ear and right out the other as i try to keep any memories from that time from fully forming and keeping myself in my seat. jasmine popping up around me again was already a recipe for disaster ... i shouldn't have even allowed her to put her boot on the floor of my room.

5 years ago i made the mistake of talking to the girl that had just thrown her meal on the wall of slice of italy. the same girl who would say she hated her ex and then go spend the night at her house, come back and describe their sex in graphic detail.

this is also the girl who i would have to call 10 times a night a month later when we started dating because she would threaten to step in front of the train when i couldn't answer my phone due to a meeting or a job.

the girl who namito only found out about because she snuck into my house one night because she "didn't feel stable without me". who i continued a secret "relationship" with, even after i was punished and sent to live with my grandparents for two weeks so i would be as far away from her as i possible. when i finally picked up my phone after the flight and 18 missed calls, i was threatened over the phone because she suspected i was cheating on her with another girl.