Tallulah & Wilbur | QSMP

Chapter 4 | Eggs-hausted

hi, who else felt every type of emotion in the last stream (april 29th)? i did.

this chapter is a little more angsty, little more dark. again, i am completely new in this whole area, so if trigger warnings are needed, please let me know

apparently writing these stories means a lot to me

if you have any recommendations or tips or anythings, i'd love to hear it. and, if you are an artist who would like to share their art for the cover of Tallulah & Wilbur (i am thinking about making it just Tallulah though), contact me

btw, i'd love to promote these stories, but i am really insecure about everything... feel free to do it for me though ^.^

x Til

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Tallulah lay in her bed, surrounded by a mess of sketches, half-finished paintings, and crumpled sheets of paper. She had spent the entire evening trying to distract herself from the gnawing emptiness in her chest, but nothing seemed to work. She tried playing the flute and the guitar, but the notes just sounded hollow and meaningless. She tried drawing, but all her sketches seemed flat and uninspired.

As she lay there, she could feel her thoughts spiraling out of control. She couldn't stop thinking about her dad going on tour for months. She knew he had to go, but the thought of being without him for so long made her feel like the ground was slipping out from under her feet.

She had a good day today, spending time with her abuelito and Wilbur. She appreciated the effort her dad put into spending quality time with her. Even Mr. Smiley, also known as Mr. Quackity, her teacher, paid her a visit. Tallulah found him to be a funny and interesting guy, but she couldn't help wondering if there was some kind of history between Wilbur and Quackity. Despite not knowing what was going on, Tallulah enjoyed their company. However, she couldn't shake off the feeling of sadness that overtook her as she thought about the day. She felt abandoned, despite the time she spent with loved ones. Lately, Tallulah had been having nightmares every night, making her dread going to bed. This constant tiredness had left her feeling empty. And now, as she lay in bed, surrounded by a mess of sketches and papers, everything hit her like a ton of bricks. She was all alone, having said goodbye to her dad, and the overwhelming feeling of it all made her want to curl up into a ball and cry.

She tried writing down her thoughts, but as soon as she put pen to paper, she felt overwhelmed by all the negative emotions. It was like all her fears and doubts were amplified and she couldn't escape them. She used to find solace in her creative pursuits, but tonight, they're just reminders of her failures. She's frustrated with herself for not being able to express her emotions in a more productive way. She hated feeling so helpless, so out of control.

She feels like she's not strong enough to handle it. She's trying so hard to hold herself together, but the weight of everything is just too much.

"Why am I like this?" she thought to herself. "I should be grateful. My dad does everything he can to see me and give me as much time and love as I need. And Phil and Chayanne are always there for me, too. Why do I have to be so weak?"

She wishes she could talk to someone about how she's feeling, but the thought of burdening her friends with her problems makes her feel even worse. She feels like she's being a burden to everyone in her life. She's so tired of feeling this way. She just wants it all to stop.

The more she beat herself up about it, the worse she felt. She could feel the tears building up behind her eyes, and before she knew it, she was sobbing uncontrollably. She was so angry with herself for feeling this way, for not being able to just be happy and content like everyone else.

In a fit of frustration, she threw the book her dad had given her to write in across the room. It hit the wall with a thud and bounced back onto the bed. She buried her face in her hands and cried until she couldn't cry anymore.

It wasn't until she heard a gentle knock that she realized how late it had gotten. She quickly wiped away her tears and tried to compose herself as best she could.

Chayanne walked in, via the balcony, looking concerned. "Hey, Tallulah," he said softly. "I was just checking in to see how you're doing."

Tallulah tried to put on a brave face, but as soon as she saw the look of genuine concern on his face, she felt herself breaking down again. She told him everything, about how overwhelmed she felt, about how angry she was with herself, about how much she was going to miss her dad.

Chayanne listened patiently, never once interrupting or judging her. When she was finished, he took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Tallulah, it's okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes," he said. "It's okay to be scared or sad or angry. You don't have to be strong all the time. And you're not weak, either. You're one of the strongest, most talented, and most compassionate people I know. Don't ever forget that."

Tallulah didn't know what to say. She felt so grateful to have Chayanne as a friend, but she couldn't help but feel embarrassed and undeserving. She squeezed his hand back and gave him a watery smile.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Chayanne sat with her for a while longer, just talking about anything and everything. She pretended to feel better and waved Chayanne good bye. He left.

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She is on her bed again, feeling embarrassed and vulnerable after her conversation with Chayanne. She couldn't stop replaying everything she said and how much she had exposed herself. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but she couldn't help it.

As the night wore on, Tallulah's mind was still active. She felt like she couldn't sleep, but more than that, she didn't want to sleep. Due to the nightmares. She didn't want to confront those dark, scary thoughts again.

She couldn't help but think "Why can't I be grateful for what I have?" Tallulah muttered to herself, "People care about me, and yet here I am, feeling sorry for myself."

Tallulah couldn't shake off her feelings of self-hatred. She was angry with herself for feeling this way, but no matter how much she tried to push them aside, they persisted.

Tallulah tried to keep herself occupied by drawing, playing music and writing, but the exhaustion started to catch up with her. Despite feeling tired, she refused to give herself rest, believing that she didn't deserve it after being so vulnerable and open with Chayanne earlier.

Eventually, exhaustion took over, and Tallulah fell asleep on the floor of her room, surrounded by sketches and crumpled up pieces of paper. She was still overwhelmed, but her body couldn't take it anymore. She drifted off into a restless sleep, hoping to wake up to a better tomorrow.

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