Sand Between Our Fingers

01~

MARK'S POV

Today was perfect, the wind was blowing in our eyes and making our hair go crazy. That didn't stop me from looking at him with all the love in my being. It was moments like these that I cherished the most. I didn't get to see Jackson like this much anymore, so distracted and just focused on all of the good. It was hell for both of us getting to this point but...it was so worth it. We both regretted nothing...

I learned through love that love isn't easy and it's something that you fight for everyday...even if it wounds you along the way. That's what makes these walks on the beach so special to me. It's where we met...mmm this is just bittersweet. It's also where it almost ended too, that still hurts me.

"Let's go to that gift shop over there," Jackson said to me nudging in the direction of said gift shop.

"Okay okay," I told him lightly laughing. He was a sucker for gift shops.

He took my hand and ran across the beach almost falling over his own feet trying to get to the entrance but somehow we made it limbs in tact. Inside there were all kinds of little trinkets and treasures that one could want to take back home. Somehow, we ended up where we always ended up, the hourglasses.

"Hourglasses really do put all into perspective Markie," Jackson told me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Our time is limited, it's so small and we only have what life gives us ya know. Each moment is precious and we might not get to make more. Isn't that sad? That at any given second we can just not have the chance to make one more memory...." He said, a bittersweet note lingering on the end.

*     *     *

Just like that the memory fades and I wake up, in my bed all alone. Tears prickle at my eyes and I miss the warmth, the feeling and the smell of my lover being next to me, tangled into me. Jackson was my rock and had rightfully held that place in my heart since the beginning of high school.

Nobody other than Jackson had actually seen me for who I was and loved me despite the social norm. We had since graduated and the tensions in our lives still existed.

Soon what was small prickles becomes full blown crying and I begin to panic. I frantically got out of bed and start going through the room trying to find the missing piece of myself. Screams erupted from my lips and bits of rage stained my painful cry for comfort. I needed Jackson to rescue me. I needed him to hold me one more time...

JACKSON'S POV

It had been two years since I graduated from high school and life had been difficult for Mark and I. There wasn't one thing I would change though about our love. I fought and I mean I fought hard for our love; Harder than anything I'd ever fought for. Mark was the first one who had saw the me I thought no one could see, and that meant the world to me.

Shortly after high school he and I had put together a business in our small town of Burlington in Vermont where we had moved right after high school. Our business was booming, a lot of people appreciated good landscaping and now that we had a staff, we just sat back and handled all of the managerial stuff.

This morning though proved as to why it was good that Mark and I didn't have a conventional job and work lifestyle. There was a lot of trauma in our past and most of it was on Mark's end of the spectrum. You see this morning I had decided to get out of bed early to make breakfast for the both of us. Usually I wouldn't do this simply because Mark liked to wake up together.

About 45 minutes after I had left I began to hear Mark wailing at the top of his lungs. I immediately turned off the burner and moved the food to the back of the stove. I ran up the stairs as fast as I could and burst through the door scooping Mark into my arms.

Mark had been diagnosed shortly after we escaped with parasomnia which caused him to be confused and panicked when he woke up due to his trauma.

"Baby, I'm right here...shhh it's okay," I told him holding him close.

"I was so scared of losing you again...I. I just, I can't do that again...I can't lose you," Mark cried out just breaking in between sobs.

"Nothing can separate us, nothing do you hear me? Now tell me what happened," I told him.

"It was the dream, but it was a good dream..." he said.

"I know you don't want to, but we need to start at the beginning baby," I said with as much love as possible.

With that statement the long story began to unfold one more painful time....maybe he'd let it go...