Lioness in training

20 Questions - Part 2

TW: Panic attack

It was all going so well, or so i thought then Lucy came out with a question that to anyway one else would seem like a normal nice question to ask. But it was something I didn't want to get into.

Lucy: ''How do your parents feel about you playing football at such a high level''

That was when the brief moment of thinking that things were going well, my mind stopped. I wasn't always the closest with my parents but it hurt when they died they were always away, but at the end of the day they were still my parents. I loved them and they were gone it still made me upset as I always think about what could have been, they said they were going to spend more time with me. They promised that the last house we moved into would be our last , things were going to change, I was finally going to have parents. Then everything stopped and every hope I had of having parents that I would be close to ended and it was only a what could have been, never a what actually happened.

I could feel all of their eyes on me, my knee started to bounce and I could feel my chest closing up it was getting harder to breath. I could start to hear my breath, they were going to think I was so strange, it was all going so well, why can't I just be normal, why do I react like this. Its just a stupid question, they didn't know. I don't know why I couldn't just react normally, it's like my head was a radio that was just constantly on in the background and every now and then it would get really loud and it's all I could hear. All I could hear are the thoughts that I am doing everything wrong. I couldn't take it anymore I had to get out I felt like a million eyes were staring at me piercing their way though the armor I had tried to build and it all collapsing within seconds. So I ran I just ran, I didn't know where but I had to leave it was too much.

Third person pov:

All the girls were sat having a good time and Lucy asked a simple question then you could see Ellis' face drop like her world had just crumbled from underneath her. Within seconds you could see her knee bouncing up and down her breathing getting heavier and then she ran, she just ran out of the room. Everyone just stared at each other unsure of what happened. Until Leah jumped up and ran after her followed by Lucy and Kiera.

They all desperately jumped and ran after the girls, even though they had just met they felt attached to the girl like they had to protect her. they were unsure of what from, but she had already found her way into their hearts, just the way she smiled and laughed with everyone in the room she seemed so happy. they wanted to help her get back to this and get whatever was bothering her off her chest. If it were that simple.

They had no idea where she had gone did she even know her way around so they decided to split up. Leah went left and found the girl first she was sat huddled up in the corner trying to control her breathing, but was clearly losing the battle. Leah gently crouched in front of the girl.

Leah: ''Hi Ellis its me Leah is it okay if I help you''

Leah didn't want to overstep her boundaries knowing that trust was a big thing in these situations to try and help someone they had to be able to relax with you. Ellis quickly looked up with a wild look in her eyes as they darted around to try and find the source of the voice. once she saw Leah you could see her tense body relax a little, even if it was a minuscule change you could see the slight drop in her shoulders. She quickly nodded then looked back down and tried to stop herself shaking so much. Leah took this as the go ahead and gently grabbed her hands to stop herself from scratching her hands.

Ellis slightly flinched to this movement but slowly relaxed the little bit that she could into Leah's hold. Leah pulled Ellis into a hug.

Leah: ''okay Ellis I need you to copy my breathing listen to my heartbeat and try and copy it, I know its hard but you need to breath''

To this there was no response from Ellis as she was trying to listen to Leah but at that point everything just seemed too much, she was trying but her breathing only seemed to get faster.

After a few minuted Lucy and Kiera had found them but decided to keep their distance as to not overwhelm the girl. After around 10 minutes of Leah holding Ellis and whispering encouragements in her ear she seemed to be calming down more and more. You could tell she was exhausted from the way her body was lying against Leah, you could tell this took it out of her.

Ellis's pov:

I was slowly starting to breath more regularly, it felt like hours but I couldn't tell you how long it had been I looked up to see Leah attached to me like a sloth would to a tree. Then there was Lucy and kiera about 2 m away just watching, I felt like I had already let so many people down. I had just met this people and already they had seen one of my stupid panic attacks. I was surprised they were here at all usually people just look at you like you are weird and try and avoid you like the plague.

But they were here and Leah, was hugging me she was the reason it had stopped so quickly normally they are a lot longer.  I dont know what she did but it was amazing I have never come out of one quicker than that. Still i was ready for them to just walk away and leave me, then i would slowly become the outcast of the group as they told everyone what had happened. As if me running out the room to a simple question wasn't reason enough. I guess I enjoyed it while I could. I was just waiting for the awkward few days until I hopefully don't get chosen for the final squad.

This was it my dream being ruined just because I couldn't answer a simple question.
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