Secret Walls Near The Sea.

PROLOGUE

'To feel alive, I yearn.'

PROLOGUE | 000.

From afar, I could see the tides were high as it crashed against the shore. There were many small fishing boats swarming on top of the sea's surface and each of them had good bounty to sell in the ports or local markets in different towns. I sniffed the saltine air as I recalled my bittersweet childhood. A forlorn smile graced my lips, different illusions of the past appearing in my head as I overthink what would happen once the people from my past would know that I'm back. There's fear and uncertainty, after all, it'd been so long since I last came back here and I tried my best to bury those fears while submerging myself in the lifestyle of the inner city. I thought I was over everything, yet seeing the sea brought an imminent apprehension within me.

The car ran moderately, I guess Soren, my cousin, was trying to give me a deliberate view of our lovely municipality, mostly the southern part. He'd sense my worry growing exponentially as seconds passed by and even though he hates loud music in his car, he had allowed his Bluetooth to play familiar melodies. I smiled softly, giving him a grateful smile as he merely rolled his eyes at me.

We reached Abiera and despite the serene symphonies in the car, my worry didn't dissipate, it multiplied. I was having a little trouble with breathing, I was panicking. Many emotions coursed through my veins, and it took so much energy to prevent my eyes from tearing. I hated how I treated this municipality as my favorite place yet I feel so down whenever I tried to visit good memories in my head, only to fail - because there wasn't. It was all just bittersweet. It existed in between, and thus collapsed itself with exhaustion.

"You know, I can get you back to Kalibo, there's still time for you to go back to Manila and continue your summer there." Soren spoke, his hand in the steering wheel tightening from the awkward and heavy tension that hung in between us. I looked away. "You don't gotta' force yourself to do this, I understand it's for your father but you wouldn't be able to do shit unless you're still clinging on to the past."

"Kuya, I'm not clinging to the past." I denied profusely, my expression morphing into a defensive frown as he could only chuckle in amusement. "I just feel some things."

"Like, what? Worry? We haven't even reached Abiera's end but you're already shaking from anxiety. It's sad seeing you like this, Hel." He expressed his observation in nonchalance that I mistook it as a rather rude remark. Regardless, I pursed my lips after seeing myself trembling just like in his eyes. Though it wasn't evident, it was there. "You want me to stop and get some drinks or continue this?"

I sighed forcefully, "Continue. I will be fine, I just need to prepare myself for all of these. The decision was sporadic, okay? I didn't even have a say in this decision, I was carted off the airport the moment I got home from dorms."

"Vent your anger at Lolo and Uncle, not on me, shitty brat." Soren hissed playfully, parking the car on the side of the road. He left the driver's seat after opening the door, he gave me a look, "Well, what do you want?"

"Coke, thank you." I mumbled, removing my denim jacket before throwing it off on the backseat of his car.

I breathed softly, seeing my cousin buy our refreshments in a small store while I checked my face in the mirror. My make-up had faded a little from the constant travel, so I quickly opened my purse and retouched my face. The lightness of my products highlighting my soft beauty, I smiled after seeing my art.

"Here's your coke," Soren mumbles, placing the cold bottle on top of my bag as I muttered a small expression of gratitude at him. He looked at me and smiled, "Drink that and stop your worries, you'll be fine. There's nothing to think of, you're still a Saavedra regardless of what they're going to say about you and your past. It's not the definition of who you are anyways, and besides, you've got a lot of business to deal with than engaging with that mindless gossip."