(A letter to someone) More Than A Pump Blood

My secret, My everything

I'm not sure if I'll be able to tell you this in person, but I sincerely hope that I can one day.

I'm not sure exactly what to say to express how I feel about you. I first noticed you, and that was when my entire world turned upside down. Even now, I can recall instances in which I made choices that I knew would have an impact on my heart.

I had no idea this voyage would be necessary. I had no idea I was trying to find you.

I used to think I was completely insane after realizing this connection.

Everything that has transpired has been shocking, perplexing, potent, and profound all at once.

It led me to doubt everything, including my identity, your authenticity, and the things that matter and are significant to me.

It was really bizarre to feel as though every time I saw something that made me think of you, I would immediately get an intensely warm and passionate emotion.

The feeling that I had finally found myself in you was very strange.

There were moments when I thought we were having a conversation. Something so fundamental existed between the two of us. Despite the fact that we haven't yet met, I felt as though I already loved you.

When I had dreams about you, it felt like returning home. Your voice, smile, and eyes made me ecstatic beyond words.

I always see this very deep affection and wonderful vulnerability when I look into your eyes. That is comparable to gazing at a galaxy full of brilliant stars. Every time I look into your eyes, I can sometimes see and feel your suffering, and when I do, all I want to do is hug you.

You are never far from my mind. You keep me up at night, but also during the day. How often I hurt and long for you.

If only you knew.

I made a lot of effort to suppress my emotions, but it was futile. I feel like the weakest, most helpless person on the planet.

I always feel as though you are doing the same thing as me. Also, it constantly gives me the impression that I'm crazy and delusional.

With all of my heart, I love you. You're very precious, my man.

Everything about you is wonderful. Your nose, mouth, eyes, arm, hair, and everything else. Everything about you is wonderful.

Every action you take makes me feel tingly inside, but it really happens when I imagine being with you in one spot, holding hands and kissing each other.

The idea that I won't always be there for you whenever you need someone to lean on makes me incredibly sad.
It saddens me immensely to think I will never be with you this time. That I will never feel your touch or know exactly how you feel or all that you have endured for life.
I am aware of the difficulties you have had in life and the fact that you are always working to overcome them and achieve your goals. I greatly respect and admire you. I am really pleased with you.

Indeed, loving you from a distance is quite difficult. But, I acknowledge and comprehend the reasons why our relationship isn't yet conceivable. I genuinely believe that I would do anything to be with you.

But these hours, minutes, days, or even this year are not for us.

Your circumstance is distinct from mine. Yet, I still want you to know that I won't ever run away again. And because I have to be with you and wait for you, I'll do everything in my power to be stronger than ever. I'm aware that you're attempting the same thing. It's only one of the many reasons why I wish to remain still.

My deepest desire is to show you the depths of my love.
Oh I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me right now.

I am so grateful for this opportunity to understand what genuine, unconditional love is.

Even though it hurts, I will always want you and love you. Underneath the surface, I yearn for you with all of my heart.

I hope you're feeling better and doing well. I only want the best for you—love, serenity, and joy.

You are a remarkable, fantastic, incredible, and priceless person. I appreciate you making me experience this affection.

I appreciate you being everything to me.

I only want to keep the secret about you in my heart and soul forever. my everything.