where stars land | haobin

five.

"Ricky, you got a minute?"

Zhanghao catches him right as he exits the men's changing rooms, already in his basketball jersey, duffel bag slung over his shoulder, hair tied back with a black elastic to keep it out of his face during practice.

"Yeah, of course. I've got practice in half an hour, but you can have me till then. What's up?"

Zhanghao looks down the hallway, as if to make sure no one else is listening, before pulling Ricky into the nearest empty classroom. "Remember the scholarship I told you about last year? The one I didn't think I was going to get?"

Ricky sets his bag down on one of the desks and himself on the desk opposite. "Oh, yeah. The Juilliard one? The one the teachers told you to apply for?"

"Yeah."

"What about it? Did they get back to you?"

"You're never gonna believe this," Zhanghao answers, sighing. "They're offering me a full-ride."

"Dude, that's awesome!" Ricky jumps off the table to give him a hug. "You're gonna kill it there. I bet you're better than everyone already."

"That's not all," the other boy continues, expression dark. "They want me there as soon as possible, so I can learn English before the academic year starts. I'm supposed to leave in ten days."

"Wait, they're taking you in the middle of your senior year?"

"I don't know why either," Zhanghao despairs. "They're giving me accommodation and meals, and my plane ticket's all paid for. I can't miss this, Ricky, it'll change my life."

There's no need for them to speak to know what comes next. The elephant in the room.

"But what about Hanbin?"

Zhanghao collapses into a chair and buries his head in his hands. "I don't know, Ricky. I don't know what I'm gonna do now."

"Hanbin would never let you give this up," Ricky says softly. "Not as long as he's alive. He'd want this for you more than anything in the world."

"You don't think I know that?" Zhanghao's momentarily taken aback by how loud his voice rings out in the stillness of the empty room, and he sends his best friend an apologetic glance. "I'm sorry for shouting, I'm sorry. I just-"

He doesn't continue speaking, and the silence drags for a long moment as his mind searches its every crevice for a way, any way out of this.

Zhanghao's voice is quiet, almost inaudible when he speaks again. "I'm going to be gone for almost four years."

We'll never make it four years apart.

Zhanghao stands up, straightening his school blazer, the grating of the chair against the ground startlingly loud. "I'm sorry. Don't be late for practice, Ricky."

"But Hao-"

"Thank you for being here," the other boy answers, not looking back. "I just need to think by myself for a while. Please don't tell anyone else about this just yet."

Ricky watches his figure disappear around the corner, silent, and he sighs. There's not a moment during practice that day his worry for his best friend leaves his mind.

─

Zhanghao is called to the teachers' office to speak with one of the teachers during lunch two days later. Hanbin watches him shovel the last of his chicken into his mouth before picking up his bookbag and beginning to maneuver his way out of the cafeteria's thick lunchtime crowd.

"Hao, wait," Hanbin grabs him by the wrist, looking up. "Something happen? Did you get into trouble?"

"It's nothing," Zhanghao smiles placatingly, and he gently removes Hanbin's hand from his wrist. "I have to go now, though. I'll see you in class later, okay?"

"Got it. Love you."

The school, newly aware of Zhanghao's plans to leave in the middle of the school year, needs some arrangements made before they can let him go. Just formalities, really, but there's a stack of forms waiting for him to fill out when he arrives at the office.

"Congratulations, Zhanghao," Mrs Kim says, and Zhanghao looks up from signing his name at the bottom of one of the pages. "I knew it was the right choice pushing you to try for the scholarship. You're the most talented musician I've seen for years. You're going to have a great career when you graduate."

"Thank you for pushing me, Mrs Kim. I appreciate that you have so much faith in me." Zhanghao tries to swallow the rising tumult in his throat, smiling politely and perfunctorily as he fills out the rest of the forms in neat, even handwriting.

Mrs Kim gives the forms a cursory glance when he's done. "All right then, I guess you're all set. I'll let you know if we need anything else from you, but otherwise, it's really been a pleasure getting to teach you. When are you leaving?"

"In two weeks' time, Mrs Kim."

"We'll miss you here, Zhanghao. Enjoy your last two weeks."

"I will. Thank you."

Zhanghao doesn't watch where he's going as he swings the already-ajar door open, and he stumbles straight into a familiar jacket and indigo Converse shoes. He barely manages to meet the other boy's eye for a second before he's gone, walking fast, around the corner and away from him.

"Hanbin, wait!"