Jim and Kathy

Jim had just taken the day off and was headed to the hospital without his long-term live-in girlfriend's knowledge. He has been having headaches that have been getting worse as time went on.

Jim lived with Kathy for the past 10 years and they by all rights should have been married.

Kathy had been through a bad abusive marriage after leaving college. She was in a relationship with her college boyfriend and when they graduated, they married. He went to work at his father's law office making very good money. Kathy was going to continue her schooling to get her master's in political science. She had a part time job and was also a TA for a professor at the college she attended. About 4 months after they were married, a switch went off in her husband's head, he no longer wanted his wife to work or even continue her studies. She was an independent woman and would not accept his request, they fought often over it, neither one was willing to give in. Things had gotten heated as time went on, her husband became very verbally abusive. One night during a fight over the schooling, he grabbed her by her arm and just kept squeezing it and when he finally released, she had the imprint of his hand already turning into a bruise. She moved out the next day and filed for divorce. She had seen the abuse before between her mother and father and was not going to let it happen to her.

Kathy is why they never married; she was always afraid the switch would happen again. So, Jim and Kathy lived their lives without being married, but did all the same things as a married couple. They celebrated anniversaries but it was on the day they met, not the day they were married. They bought a home together and shared all the major decisions just like all married couples. If you didn't know you would have thought, they had a great marriage. Kathy was upfront to all their friends, why they never married, and Jim was good with the situation and loved her unconditionally.

Jim went into the hospital and took a series of tests including blood and urine, and even had an MRI and CT scan. Jim went to a park near his home and waited for his normal time to return from work. He never told Kathy about the doctor's visit and went on as normal. The headaches continued but he never said anything to Kathy. A few days later Jim gets the call from his doctor's office to come in a talk about the results. He set up the time for the next day. Jim had left work early and headed to the appointment. The doctor sat there and asked if he had anyone with him on this visit and Jim asked why. The doctor said he had a serious issue to discuss with him and he may need some support. Jim said no he was alone and wanted to know what was going on with his body. The doctor first went over the results of the blood and urine tests, and they showed some disturbing levels and then he said the CT scan results proved what the blood test had indicated. Jim had a tumor in his brain and it was inoperable. Jim was told that he was terminal and had between 10 months to a year and a half left. The was no treatment, but they could try chemo but, this was just a band-aid and would only extend his life for a few months at the most. After about 20 minutes Jim got up and thanked the doctor and walked to his car, He sat in the parking lot, he just let it out. He was crying and yelling, "why me". Jim was an athlete during his youth and still ran every morning. He ate right and never touch drugs or alcohol. He went back to the park as before and sat there trying to find a way to tell Kathy.

Jim's dad had cancer 15 years ago and his mom went to the hospital every day and watched him turn into a ghost of himself, it took a toll on her mentally. When he died Jim's mom was in the room and was holding his hand as he passed. On her way home she lost control of the car and ran off the road and hit a tree at 70 miles an hour and died. He didn't want Kathy to go through that or even see him suffer from this illness. He returned home and just sat in silence as Kathy was making them dinner. Jim was lost in his own thoughts and didn't know what to do. Jim didn't sleep that night, just laid in bed and thought how he would tell Kathy and when. He got up the next morning and went on his run, he had a plan in his head and needed to start it today. He went home showered and shaved and left the house as normal. He went to work and called the HR department and set up a time to meet with them. He told the HR manager the sad news and told her not to say anything to anyone, but he was going to quit to put his life in order. He went home and Kathy was working, he sat on the PC, he started by completing the paperwork on pulling his 401k out. He called the banks and made sure that Kathy was the beneficiary on all his accounts. He contacted a lawyer to get a last will and testament, leaving Kathy everything. Then he contacted a funeral home, set up an appointment to get his final resting place, He would buy 2 lots in case Kathy wanted to be next to him when her time comes. She could sell it later if she wished. Then he went back to the park and waited for the time to pass as if he had been at work all day.

He went home and was just distant from Kathy and when she asked, he said nothing and just sat in silence. All night Kathy was concerned and just tried to get him to open up, but he just sat there. This went on for 3 or 4 days. Jim told her they needed to sit and talk. He sat with tears in his eyes and told Kathy that he needed to take a break, he was leaving town for a new opportunity with another company. Kathy was crying and screaming why. He just kept talking saying he had been feeling this way for a year, he just needed to get out. She was crying and begging him to work on whatever was wrong, but he said there was nothing to work out. He told her he was leaving the next day and hoped she would respect his request. The next day he had packed his clothes as Kathy pleaded with him to explain but he just couldn't. As he was walking out the door, he said he would continue to pay half the mortgage for as long as she needed, and he loved her from the bottom of his heart. Then he closed the door to Kathy on her knees crying. She was yelling from the house and Jim could hear her asking why.

Jim moved into a rundown apartment across town, changed his phone number and removed all his social media accounts, which in turn closed all ties to Kathy and friends, He went totally off the grid. He decided to let the tumor do what it needed and refused Chemo and just let things take its course. As he got weaker, and his thoughts became more of a struggle he hired a home nurse. Her name was Amy, she took care of his daily medication for pain, keeping him clean and feeding him. During this time, she had a journal and Jim would tell her stories about his life with Kathy, she would write it down. She didn't know why she felt like she needed to journal this, but she felt it was important.

Several months later Jim was looking worse, the time was nearing so he got the will he had made up and wrote a letter to Kathy explaining everything, saying he did this to spare her from seeing him suffer as this was taking over his mind and body. He placed them in an envelope and put stamps and placed it on the table. When Amy arrived that day, he instructed her to mail it when he passed. She agreed and started to tend to his needs for the day. The next week Amy was there, Jim was in great spirits and was very talkative and ate everything that was in front of him. He was telling her stories. He was just in the best mood Amy had ever seen in him. The next morning when she arrived Jim was lying in his bed and had passed away overnight. She broke down in tears, she took the sheets and covered his face. She made all the calls to the hospital and the funeral home. She took the envelope and headed to the post office. She stopped and looked into her bag, and she had the journal and made a rash decision.

Amy was standing on Kathy's doorstep later that evening and rang the bell. When Kathy opened the door, she explained she had some papers from Jim, but would like to sit down and tell her about Jim. Amy and Kathy sat at the kitchen table. Amy started by giving her condolences on the passing of Jim. Kathy had not been told anything about Jim, she didn't even know he was sick. Amy explained that she was Jim's nurse and had been with him for the past 6 months. During that time Jim had told her so many stories about Jim's life with her and she wrote down almost everything he said, she wanted her to have the journal of Jim's memory. Amy handed her the journal along with the envelope that contained his will and his letter to her. Kathy was just sitting there but the next thing she fell to the ground, she fainted. Amy got her into a sitting position, and she just sat there crying on Amy shoulder for the better part of an hour. She asked Amy to stay as she went through the envelope that Jim had sent her. She read it to herself and was balling, she would stop reading and gather herself and return to reading more. Amy just sat there for hours, Amy said that she was a very lucky woman to have a man like Jim in her life, he was a very special man. Amy also told her that in the past 6 months all he talked about her, she would see that when she decides to read the journal. Amy stayed with her for several more hours. They later became close friends over Jim's memories. They both knew they were part of a special man's life and shared their stories with each other. Jim died 11 months to the day after his diagnosis and was laid to rest 6 days later. All his friends and coworkers were there. It was such a somber day for so many of them.

Rest in peace Jim.