Different Days | Matt Sturniolo

6

"He's the hockey boy, right?" my mom asks as I slip on my Vans. 

"Yes, mom," I groan. I already feel anxious, I don't need her asking questions. 

"He seemed like a nice boy when I met him at that football game. And it's great that he goes to your school. It can be hard to make friends at community college."

"Yeah," I mumble.

"Those Sturniolo boys are cute as well!"

Thankfully, I hear a car pull up alongside the curb. I jump up and look out the window. A silver minivan with the engine running is stopped outside my mouse. Chris looks out of the passenger side window and I flush, hoping he didn't see me staring.

I say goodbye to my mom and head outside. Chris rolls down the window and says "come on in," with what sounds like an exaggerated southern accent. I hear Nick shriek and yell "Chris, stop it!"

I relax a bit. Today will be fun. 

"So where's the rink," I ask as I put my seat belt on. 

"Portsmouth, New Hampshire," Matt answers, using one hand on the steering wheel to turn the car back into the street.

"Portsmouth? That's an hour away."

"It's worth it," Chris says, turning around in his seat to face me. He's got a red fruit roll up in his mouth. "The town is all historic and wintery."

I rest my head back against the headrest. I'll be crossing state lines with Matt. This is going to be interesting.

"Do you know how to skate, Natalie?" Chris asks. 

I shift uncomfortably. "I skated a bit when I was younger but not recently." 

"Oh, nice," Nick says.

"So basically you can't," Matt says. Nick gasps. 

"What?" Matt asks, worry washing over his face. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just — I — I don't know. Natalie shouldn't worry about not knowing how to skate. We can help you."

"Nice save," Chris says.

I laugh alongside them but I feel like crying. Why does it seem like Matt hates me?

We spend the rest of the car ride talking about music, people we went to school with, and the differences between Boston and Los Angeles. To my relief, I'm able to join in on the conversation in a way that feels natural, not forced. Yet I can't shake the feeling that Matt doesn't want me here. 

I've been to Portsmouth before but never at night. It truly looks magical. Dozens of sailboats lay peaceful on the Old Harbour. Every other building is made of brick. The front doors of the houses are just inches from the main walkways. I feel like we've got back in time.

We arrive at a historic museum with a large outdoor area which is currently housing an ice-rink. Matt parks the car and we all walk over to the entrance. The boys all brought their own skates but I spend the extra money to rent a pair for myself. I hope my ice-skating skills from a decade ago can help me out tonight. 

We all put on our skates and then head over to the rink. I hold onto the railing as I get on. 

"Need some help?" Nate asks.

"No, thanks," I say quickly, letting go of the railing and almost falling forwards. I manage to stay standing — barely. I'm crouched over, trying to steady myself.

"It's okay, I got you," Nate says. He goes to reach for my arm but then his eyes look up at mine. It takes me a second to figure out what he was doing. I nodded. He puts one hand on my shoulder and the other around my arm. We slowly start making our way around the rink. Matt, Nick, and Chris speed ahead of us, doing all sorts of turns and jumps. 

"You can join them if you want," I say to Nate, finally breaking the silence.

"Don't you want to skate?"

"I do but it's not right that you have to babysit me like this. You were supposed to spend time with the guys."

"I spent time with them earlier and I'll be with them tomorrow," Nate says dismissively. 

We're both silent again. 

Nate sighs. "Do you think it's weird that I invited you here?"

Is he finally realizing that? I'm happy he invited me but everything feels off. 

"A little bit."

Nate sighs. He moves us over to the edge of the rink. I reach for the railing and he puts his hands in his sweatshirt pocket. 

"Sooo," he says. His cheeks are red. Is that because it's cold outside? Or did they just get redder?

"Alright, I'll just say it. Natalie, I've had a crush on you ever since we were pickle ball teammates in gym class. While all the other girls were either super competitive and aggressive or not even trying at all, you seemed to be the only fun having fun. You didn't care about putting on a performance. You were different: not an athlete, band kid, theater kid, or art geek. You're just you. No labels."

I'm surprised. Nate and I talked a lot in school but he never asked me out on date or just to hang out. Why now?

"I wasn't expecting that. It's been over a year since we last talked."

"I know. I was so immature back then. Without you during my senior year, gym class wasn't the same. That's when I regretted not making any moves before you graduated. When I saw you yesterday, it felt like I was given a second chance."

Now that I think about it, Nate is really cute. I haven't thought about him in that way before because I've been so focused on Matt. But Nate has a great personality as well and unlike Matt, he is living in the area full-time. 

"But what about Matt?" I ask. I can't seem to look into his eyes. Instead, I focus on a young family  drinking hot chocolate outside of the rink. 

"I know you want to date Matt. He's a great guy and I'm sure you guys would make a great couple. I'll completely understand if you want to get to know him better. I just thought I would shoot my shot, you know?"

I make myself look at him. He looks so vulnerable. I've always known him to be on the shyer side so I'm sure what he's doing right now can't be easy. 

"Nate, I really don't know what to say. I've been interested in Matt for awhile now but I doubt he likes me back. I don't want you to feel like a backup option."

"I get that. If you want, I can try and help you get to know Matt? Let's see if he seems interested in you."

It's a good idea. I can't hide from Matt. And it it turns out he doesn't seem interested at all, I should move on.