Things Between Us

14. Fears

"I just want my sanity back"

♥ Davina ♥

I woke up and notice Cade was gripping me tightly. Was I moving too much in my sleep? I place my hand on Cade's arm to see if he was awake so he can loosen his grip, which he was. His grip loosens and I turn my body around to face him. He gives me a smile but his face hinted at something else. Worry? 

"Did I move too much? Sorry, I definitely forgot we weren't in your bed." 

I was waiting for him to either say something he would usually say or tell me we should sleep a little longer but he didn't. He just stared at me and his smile dropped from his face and now worry was the expression he was wearing. 

"Davina..." he sat up, "I know everything has been a lot between classes and practice. Are you sure you're okay? I mean obviously, you're fine physically but like I mean you know you can talk to someone doesn't have to be me. Maybe if it helps a counselor or therapist, you know." He finished. 

I was confused as to why he was bringing this up until it hit me.

"Did I have another nightmare?" I looked at him. 

He nodded his head yes. "You were yelling out words and twisting and turning. At first, I thought you were speaking to me about being cold but then I saw your eyes were closed and you started whispering to 'wake up'. Which was kind of creepy not gonna lie." 

Cade has almost experienced every nightmare I had in my life but he's never spoken about his thoughts on them. Now that he is I'm starting to worry they were getting bad because these were the only ones he pointed out. 

"I'm sorry if I scared you. They're just my nightmares nothing serious. You know I get them." 

He started to shake his head no. "I don't think you're understanding Davina. Out of all the nightmares you've had and I've noticed, you have never been this bad. These nightmares must be terrifying for you to act like that during it." 

Cade was right. I hadn't remembered the one I had last night but the one I had before this one still had me a bit in fear. 

"I understand that you usually ignore them and move along until it doesn't bother you but I don't think that's healthy for you." 

I got up from the bed and walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth, even though I felt like I was still going to go back to sleep. 

Cade came up from behind and grabbed his toothbrush. He knew I didn't want to talk about the subject anymore. He knew I hated talking about my nightmares, especially this one since it was affecting me more than the others. 

I finished brushing my teeth along with washing my face and got into bed again. I closed my eyes waiting to hear the faucet in the bathroom turn off. Maybe if I fall asleep again I can sleep peacefully without any dreams. 

I heard the faucet turn off and Cade walk back into the room. 

"I'm gonna let you breathe, okay? But princesa, just please think over what I said. You don't always have to deal with it just yourself." 

My eyes were still shut and I heard Cade grab his stuff and grab his keys. "Lock your door please, for me." 

With that he left, I got up from bed and locked the door going straight to bed right after. 

Whenever I was too overwhelmed with stuff I'd just fall to sleep and let everything go to shit until I needed to face it head-on. But even in my sleep, I couldn't escape it.