DSAF NFR AU

Chapter 1: Prelude

(Disclaimer: NFR!Jack is not doing well. He also has a history of murder and identity theft. Also major identity crisis, intrusive thoughts, occasional hallucinations and weird maybe dreams. It's all a result of mistakes Fredbear made fusing him with his body.)

I am sitting in a somewhat rough chair, across from me is some strangely dressed man with a phone for a head.

Even though he has no eyes I can't help the feeling he's staring at me.

This is not my first job interview.

I have worked at 12 other locations before... right? 12? Where did I get that number, I'm sure it's not 12... how many was it?

The phone stares at me, his gaze is ripping me apart.

I imagine myself post mortem being examined by a group of chimpanzees in lab coats. They are not doing a good job.

I itch at my skin. The orange paint is rather itchy, furthering the discomfort of the skin itself.

I start picking at my skin, trying to pull it off.

The phone interrupts me and tells me to focus.

I forgot he was there.

"What was the question?" I ask.

"Do you have any criminal record?"

"I started both world wars."

"Ah so nothing serious."

"No not really." I admit, I need to up my game, I'm disappointed with my abysmal record.

"Do you have any ID?" He says suspiciously. Or at least I think he does.

I pull out a plastic bag and root around, picking out a card and placing it on his desk.

The card has blood stains on it, a small cut out picture of me glued on and slightly peeling.

The phone man picks it up... he doesn't seem to buy it, but he also doesn't seem to care. "Mason Foster?" He asks.

I nod vigorously.

"What's the blood from?"

"Oh well you know how it is." I smile, way too wide. I have a bad habit of that, it led to my cheeks getting ripped.

"Yeah sure..." if he had a face I'd say that he looks suspicious of me. "I want this conversation done so you're hired."

"Wait a moment phoney, what am I being paid."

"Tokens."

"I want cash!"

"And I want to see my family again, we don't always get what we want."

"Well if I'm not given cash you'll never see anything again so you see our conundrum?"

"I'll see what I can do." He hisses. "Now sign the contract."

I glare at him for a moment before signing.

Almost as soon as I do my vision blurs and I fall onto the table.

...

I wake up in a wide open expanse of nothing, a road in the middle of the desert. The road ahead twists and curves unnaturally and water is seeping out from the ground and rising into the sky like raindrops.

"That asshole better not have put me here or he's fucking dead." I snarl.

I barely dodge out of the way as a large deer hoof smashes the ground I was on. I look at the creature. It's a towering 9-legged amorphous beast of smoke, looking down at me with glowing eyes.

"HEY ASSHOLE!"

Its neck extends so it brings its featureless face down to me, I stare into the eyes.

"I WAS STANDING THERE JACKASS YOU CANT JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING!!!!!!!!"

"Esimed elbativeni sdrawot gnihcram lla era ew."

"Save your fucking excuses you almost killed me!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Yawa gnitsaw flesruoy leef uoy od?"

"Yeah I'm calling my goddamn lawyer. You can't-" I am kicked away by the creature. That asshole.

I land inside a tower, inside is an elderly version of myself rocking on a rocking chair violently while knitting.

I pick him up and throw him out the window.

An eye appears where the window once was.

"DO YOUR JOB. FUFIL YOUR SINGULAR PURPOSE SO YOU MAY CEASE TO BE. THE BEAR MADE A MISTAKE DECIDING TO CREATE YOU. I HOPE YOU CAN AT LEAST TRY TO BE LESS DISAPPOINTING."

I hate it when these things talk to me. I punch the eye and my vision fades again.

...

"EMPLOYEE! EMPLOYEE WAKE UP!" The phone yells. I get up off the table.

"The fuck did you do to me?" I ask.

"I didn't do anything I just... you just FELL ASLEEP ON MY HECKING DESK!!!"

"Fine, whatever, lie to me and see how that works for you."

"Just get to work!"

(Note: NFR!Jack is feral.)