Two different world

sikstin

Today passed by in a blur.

I stayed at Freen's house nearly two hours after I found her note, willing myself not to freak out, but she never came back.

I sent her countless messages and called her even more times.

I tried to do my homework, tried to watch TV, tried to listen to some music, tried to pay attention to Mind's babbling but all of my efforts to stop foccusing, no, obsessing over Freen were made in vain.

Here I finally am, lying in bed, absentmindedly staring at the ceiling, still clutching that little piece of paper in my hand whilst Mind's light snores come to me from the other side of the room.

'I can't do it.'

Those words, they bring out in me a strange and uncomfortable mix of angriness and hurt.

Angriness at the fact that Freen left me in her bed, in her house, without having the decency to wake me up, leaving a cryptic note instead.

Mostly, hurt though, because this only made me realize how hard I fell for Freen and how there's no way in hell I'm going to let her ruin this rare thing we share together. It's too beautiful. What hurt is that she, on the other hand, is seemingly willing to destroy it so easily.

I'm not ready to give this up just yet though; it appears I'm going to have to be brave for the both of us.

I'll be brave for you Freen Sarocha.

I wake up with a start when I feel a hand shaking my shoulder. Opening my eyes, I meet Mind's ones staring at me, looking slightly pissed.

"What the hell Bec! Like, wake up now or else we'll be late for school! And if you want to have a lift with me and Jason, you'd better get your ass out of bed straight away..." She sighs dramatically, grabbing her purse as she gets out of our bedroom.

Sitting up in my bed, I rub my eyes, yawning. An uneasy feeling settles in my chest when what happened with Freen yesterday comes back to me in an instant, hitting me with such intensity it's almost painful.

"My God." I mumble, running a hand through my hair as I get up, picking up random clothes in my wardrobe.

I feel strangely determined, even though anxiety at the idea of confronting Freen keeps showing in my head every now and then. I truly hope I'll get her to talk to me and that we'll be ok. I don't know yet if it's just wishful thinking but for now, I don't want to think about the other option. I can't let myself think about it.

I put on a loose purple hoodie with jeans, putting my hair in a messy ponytail. I probably look like shit.

Mind shouts from downstairs that her boyfriend's waiting for us.

"For fuck's sake." I mumble again, swinging my bag on my shoulder.

OOOOOOO

In school, Mind's boyfriend drops me in front of the main entrance before they drive off somewhere in the parking, probably to have a quick fuck in his car before the beginning of classes.

I stand in front of the doors, students pushing past me, some of them swearing because I'm blocking the way.

I take a deep breath, willing my nerves not to take the better of me.

The hallways are as crowded as usual and, as I make my way through the mass of people, I feel my palms growing sweaty. Gone is the confidence from earlier, suddenly replaced by an overwhelming anxiety.

I feel ridiculous for feeling that way- after all, Freen should be the one nervous to see me, not the other way around. But I can't help my heart to skip a beat whenever a flash of blonde catches my eyes.