𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑 , 𝘫𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘳

𝐬𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧.

sixteen — reality, messages.

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cristina's pov ||

dixie and charli were at the hype house, while i was at my moms house getting ready. i know it's my 18th, but i was never a huge birthday person myself. i like planning other peoples birthdays and going to other peoples, but ever since my dad passed, it doesn't feel complete.

i forgot to mention this earlier, but my dad passed away years ago. he had cancer. he was the sweetest person ever, he was my best friend. that's when the whole me living with evelina thing happened.

he died when i was 13, so i was old enough to understand what was happening. on top of that, i wasn't even in high school, i was in 8th grade so it was already stressful enough for me worrying about going to high school.

i always try not to think about him, but then i feel guilty because i never want to forget him. i still remember what he looks like, what he sounds like, the funny nicknames he had for me, and how he acted.

on my birthday, i usually think of my dad and i feel safe, but sad at the same time. i always get sad thinking about him, but i have no tears left to cry about it anymore. it's been five years. five years without him in my life.

he didn't die on my birthday, i just always remember that i'm celebrating without him here, even though i know he'll always be with me, and watching over me.

i should stop thinking about this because my mom will get upset if she finds out.. but i know she's thinking about it too. evelina was young, she was four when he died, so she doesn't really remember him too much. whenever i talk about him and tell her what a great person he was, she doesn't remember because of how young she was. it really pains me that she didn't get to spend her childhood with him like how i did.

as much as i tried not to think about him, it wasn't helping. i was just sitting there thinking about him.
i know something that could get my mind off of it possibly.

jaden 🖤

hi

hi beautiful
what's up

umm
i'm kind of caught in my thoughts right now
and i needed someone to take my mind off of it

oh okay
do u wanna talk it out or no

not this one

okay that's fine
what're u gonna do today
r u home right now

i'm at my moms
we're going out to dinner
i'm in the middle of getting ready but something in my mind just popped up and i just needed to talk to someone

u can talk about anything to me
i'm all ears
but only if ur comfortable 

it's not something to discuss on text
i don't know the right time to discuss it honestly
i just want to talk to someone