Harry Potter and the Kämpfer

I'm a What?

Authors Note: Yeah, this wacky idea just sort of came to me out of the blue, don't shoot me, it isn't really all that bad. This story is being simul-posted on fanfiction.net, as well as hpfanficarchive; it is being posted on the latter because some of the scenes are a bit too steamy to be safely posted here.

A big thank you to my wonderful new Beta Byakugan789.

Ottery St. Catchpole

Midnight, August 18th, 1994

**BANG**

"HAHAHA!" a feminine voice laughed out. The voice belonged to a young girl who appeared to be roughly thirteen. This young girl was chasing another slightly older girl through the village of Ottery St. Catchpole at a rather remarkable speed while firing off bursts from a mystical gun she called a Gewehr. The girl with the gun had short platinum blond hair that was almost pure white in color. She was running around the village in what might as well be her pajamas.

"Oh come on, leave me alone!" the girl who was being chased complained as she miraculously dodged yet another bullet. This girl had rather remarkable crimson red hair. However it was her eyes that would stand out the most. Her eyes were a marvelous shade of emerald green. What truly set this girl apart from a lot of other girls was the rather large lightning bolt shaped scar on her forehead.

**BANG**

"HAHA, this is fun. Come back here you chicken wuss, so that I can pump you full of holes!" The blond shouted.

Just then the red haired girl jumped up into the air a good twenty feet, something that is not normally possible for most humans. Doing a flip in the air she brought her hands forward and aimed them at the blond and "I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" just like that a blast of fire launched out of her hands, launching the redhead back several feet, while the fireball went flying into the blond.

"Oof," both girls complained as the both landed after the blast.

"Yeah, how bout we call this one a draw." The blonde said as she departed mysteriously.

The redhead stood up and dusted herself off looking down at her pajamas that were sitting on her body at what she considered to be rather wrong angles. "What is going on?" she complained to herself as she slowly made her way back to the Burrow to try to find some answers to the situation.

The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole

Early the Next Morning

Harry woke up with a groan. "What the hell was that last night?"

"You okay, Harry?" Ron asked from where he was getting ready for the day.

Harry sat up in the bed and looked at Ron. "Yeah, I think so. Just had a... nightmare or something last night. I can't really be sure."

"Well whatever it was, why don't you get up. We're expecting Hermione today." Ron explained.

"Oh, right. How could I forget." Harry said with another groan, as he rushed to get ready for the day.

As he was doing so, he couldn't help but glance at the horrifyingly ugly stuffed animal that Ginny Weasley had given him the day before insisting that he take care of it as if it were his best friend. He kind of still felt bad for the girl after what she went through with Voldemort a few years ago, and so couldn't really refuse her when she had given it to him. But still, the thing was hideous to look at.