Avenge

Chapter Two: Time for Change

Anton didn't attend school for the next few days, but everyone, including the teachers, understood why. Everyone had heard about Jenna's death in the news or read it on the front page of the local newspaper, even though every teenager in the world only sees those because their parents leave them out on the counter. Anton's first day back at school was two weeks after the murder, and everyone noticed his change in behavior and attitude. Anton had become distant from everyone except for me. He shut out all of the jocks he was friends with, all of the kids in his Spanish class (the only class he was ever good at), and he even shut down all of the kids who hung out with him around town that he always told me were close friends of his. Because we only had art and history together, I had other people keep an eye on him when I wasn't around. I had my own little system: If I got a text message from any of the people I had monitoring him, I darted out the door of the school building. Luckily for both Anton and me, the school understands what he's going through and knows that I'm the only one that can help him anymore.

I got a text message from Benn, a guy in Anton's math class texted me and told me that Anton was nowhere to be seen. I went to the group chat that I had and sent a message directed at all of them.

Klarissa Kilock: Benn said that Anton isn't in math class with Groberg. Has anyone seen him?

Owen Q: I didn't see the usual strap sticking out of his locker, which means his backpack isn't here.

Zander Dekert: I haven't seen him by the pond. Or whatever you call the shithole behind the supply shed. He usually goes there to clear his head.

Ian Prakit: I went to the guidance counselor's office, and he said that Anton hadn't seen him that day. Maybe you should text him, Klare. You're the only one who seems to get ahold of him these days.

Klarissa Kilock: Okay, thanks guys.

I texted Anton, and as usual, I get a response within three minutes of the text being sent.

Klarissa: Anton, where the hell are you!? Everyone's worrying about you.

Anton: I'm at the thinking spot. You should know where to find me.

I signed myself out and drove to Quinston Lake and looked for the log cabin. It wasn't all that hard to find, considering Anton had spray painted the whole thing with band logos and lyrics. I knocked on the door, and Anton opened the door. His hair wasn't straightened and there was a knife in his hand.

"Oh, sorry if the knife is intimidating. I was cutting some oranges for my fresh fruit salad. Come on in, Klare," he said as he cleared the doorway and let me in.

I could see that he removed all of the lodging gear that was in there and had his various game consoles and clothing items covering the living room floor. Anton had just inherited this place from his aunt Rachel, who had recently passed away because of liver failure. She knew that Anton loved that cabin more than anything and couldn't help but leave it for him.

"I see you've settled in nicely. The house is very clean," I told him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up. I moved all of my stuff here over the weekend, and I haven't organized it yet. Do you have a problem with that?" he asked as he playfully punched my arm. As usual, I hit him back, but not as hard as usual.

Anton always looked great in long sleeved shirts, but because he was my best friend, I know he only wears them when he had self-harmed the night before.

"Anton, take your shirt off. This is not a request, this is an order," I told him as I folded my arms across my chest.

"Fine, mom. Dear Lord Lucifer help her," he said playfully as he laughed under his breath. That was an ongoing joke between the two of us. I loved saying Jesus Christ, so he made up that joke where every time I would say Jesus Christ, he would say Lord Lucifer. Anton pulled off his shirt to reveal his skinny but muscular torso and his also skinny but muscular arms. His arms were covered in fresh scars and Sharpie marker. He had names and labels written all over his arms all scratched out with cut marks. His right hand covered one spot in part on his left forearm. I yanked his hand away, which revealed the word human carved into his skin.

"Anton. You know how I feel about this sort of stuff. I hate seeing these scars on you, and you know that all of these names come from your weird imagination. You're amazing, and I know you know that. Jenna's death is hard on you, and I completely understand. One thing you don't understand is that this isn't your fault. You didn't know about the hitman. You didn't know about Jenna's dad. You just couldn't expect it. No one blames you for her death", I said as I gave him his shirt back.

As he put his arms through the holes, he gives me the usual speech about how if he had actually read the note, Jenna would still be alive, and how if he had made a better impression on Jenna's dad that he didn't want to kill him in the first place. I never respond because then we get into an argument, and getting into an argument with Anton was a death wish.

"Klare, stop caring so much about everything, Dear Lucifer", Anton tells me as he goes back to cut his orange slices. He always said Dear Lucifer around me because I would say Dear Jesus or Dear Lord. It was kind of twisted but cute at the same time. I never really understood why it was cute, but I let it be.

"Anton, if I didn't care about you, why am I even here? I'm missing Kinson's lecture on snail sex for you. That is true friendship. You couldn't have a better friend than me."

Anton walked into the kitchen and nicely arranged his orange slices, oatmeal, and bacon on the plate and walked into the dining room.

"Am I just going to sit here alone?" he asked as he rolled up his sleeves to reveal his horrendous scars and Sharpie dehumanizers.

"Well, you get mad at me when I sit down without telling you, and you get mad at me if I ignore you. Do you want me to have breakfast with you?" I asked as I slowly make my way to the dining room.

"Sure. I actually wanted to talk to you about something," he said as he bit into his oatmeal. "So I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple weeks, and I realized something. I realized that I've been in love with someone else, someone other than Jenna. I mean, Jenna was hot and all, but to me, someone else is just too beautiful for me to forget about. The way that she smiles, the way that she cares about everyone, the way that she notices the small things, just everything about her is beautiful. I've loved her for a long time, but I've never told her how I felt. Do you think I should?" he asked as he slowly stirred the oatmeal around the bowl.

"Anton, if you feel all of these feelings for this girl, you need to tell her. These kinds of feelings can't just stay bottled up inside of you. It's weird, you know. You exposed so much of your feelings about this girl to me... Is it because...?" I said as I heard my voice trail off into the blissful silence that filled the room.

"If you're thinking that that girl is you... You couldn't be any more right," he said as he grabbed for my hand across the table. "Klare, I've loved you for a long time, and I always kept it to myself because you always had some sort of relationship of your own. I've been a busy boy too, but I never forgot about you. I always kept my feelings for you. Nothing could make them go away..."