It's prom night and I don't even understand what going on in my mind because I feel like everything is happening at once. I love one guy like the other and still have feelings for another and then a complicated relationship and I just don't know what to do anymore with it cause he's my best friend but on the other hand I can't wait for school to be over but then I don't want to loose the friends I have made so far because everything happens for a reason but why does me feeling like shit have to be part of it especially now. But what the hell can I do. What do I do because I can't stand how I feel any longer. I want to tell him how I feel but the constant not wanting to be shut down and then the point where he has a girlfriend and she's not a good influence on him at all. I thought I would have fun and be able to have a prom kiss but I guess that will never happen especially now. cause my life has to fucking complicated doesn't it. But I guess it can't be that bad because I have someone who asked me out but I have to wait till Wednesday to actually see what happens. But what the hell. It's only 10:10 and I have an hour and 20 minutes left and already wishing it was over. I don't even know what to do anymore cause I'm such a loner it not even funny because I don't know anyone here but my best friend and even she's gone and I don't dance so I don't even know why I'm here id rather not. My life has gotten so complicated that I don't even know what reality is anymore. From my perspective life isn't even life I could deal with a lot worse but when I'm alone I just feel like I'm about to pass out because I don't know what there is left to do. My life could have been 10x better then what I got to deal with but I think that with out it I would have been dealt worse but I can't change that. My world has been swarmed with thoughts about a lot of different things from guys to school to what I should be doing with my life but I'm also a teen age girl who is going through changes she can't ignore. But what the hell really this. I feel like there too much going on at once in my mind that it's about to explode and there's no stopping it .
