Tell Her

4

Weeks flew by like a blur and I found myself spending more and more time with Becky than I should.

Despite knowing this isn't a real relationship, I found comfort in her company and she makes me really happy. The time we spent together at the library, or the short lunch breaks at the cafeteria, even our small interactions in the school hallways.

It became more to me than I plan to and it scares the hell out of me.

Becky is sweet, considerate, thoughtful, smart and just profoundly beautiful.

I miss her everyday.

Her sultry voice.

Her warm brown eyes.

Her hands against mine.

Her full, soft lips on my cheeks-

I dropped the pen I was holding on realizing where my mind has drifted off. I could feel my heart beats ringing in my ears, making my hands tremble.

No.

I don't like her like that.

I chastised myself, feeling the lump blocking my throat as I try to push the unwelcome thoughts away.

"Hey baby," Becky's voice almost made me jump out of my skin, popping out of nowhere and kissing me on the cheek before taking the seat beside me.

I cleared my throat and shook my head lightly, I can feel a headache coming and I already know it's not going to be a pleasant Friday night. "Hey," I greeted back, noting her frown and heavy sigh as she plumped her head on the reading table. "Everything okay?"

She heave another huge sigh, opening her eyes to meet mine. "You're gonna laugh." She mutters with a pout.

With how cute you look right now? I doubt.

"I won't, I promise." I said, not taking my eyes off of her. Letting her know she could trust me.

She was quiet for a few minutes as I patiently wait for her to respond.

"I'm failing Math and I need to skip few practices to study and catch up. But Jennie's not happy about it." She replied in a low, quiet voice I almost missed it if I hadn't been straining my ears just for her.

"Do you need help?" I offered, genuinely wanting to get rid of the worry look on her face.

"To cheer practice?" She asked, voice teasing.

I rolled my eyes at that, bringing my attention back to the book I'm reading. "With Math, silly." I replied, "You know I don't dance."

She chuckles, placing her head on her elbow against the table as she fixed her eyes on me. She looked like she would rebut something I said but didn't push it. "I forgot you're the Math whizz in the academy. Do you have spare notes I can borrow?"

"Or I can just tutor you." I said, words leaving my mouth without realizing the situation I'll be in if she accepts.

I'm already confused enough.

I was about to take back the offer when she perks up, grabbing my arm gently and leaning her face closer. Too close for my comfort.

"Really? That's actually a good idea, Freen!" She says, excitement showing on her soft orbs. "I'm free tomorrow! You can come over to my house and I'll make us cookies."

Fuck.

I nod, averting my eyes again. "Yeah, okay." I cringed internally on how my voice sounded so unwilling. This is bad. "Okay, I'll go to your house tomorrow, it's Saturday anyway. I can study with you at the same time." I tried again, sounding a little eager now.