The Newbies' Guide To Floriography

An Introduction (How Formal)

So, it's late at night, or a lazy weekend, or what have you. And you're bored. You don't feel like reading dead-tree books, or looking at yet more funny videos, or even confusing your little sister with deliberately impossible math problems (if A + B = C, what's B?). No, you're feeling that old need, a burning craving within, that hunger that no food can ever possibly sate. You know what you want...you want Wattpad. You turn on your phone/laptop/tablet/computer/etc. You press that big orange W, and the homepage unfolds before your eyes. The top picks section flares to life, bright and colorful, hot people and crowns and bloodstains galore adorning their fine, professional-looking covers. You've always been jealous of them, but let's put that aside for the moment. Sure, they look beautiful, but tonight/day...you're just not interested. You've seen those books a million times before now. So you scroll past, eyes searching and blankets shifting as you watch the screen idly. Vampires, werewolves, sci-fi, romance, fantasy... and then it catches your attention. The Newbies' Guide To Floriography. Out of pure curiosity, you click it. And as you do this, you're thinking, What the hell is floriography?

Is that it? Is that how you wound up here? No? Oh well.

Anyway.

Welcome, my dearest audience, to The Newbies' Guide To Floriography! This is a book (specifically a guide) to that noble, ancient, extremely obscure art that allows you send someone a pretty bouquet and say fuck you at the same time. Without outright saying it, I mean. No really, that's an actual thing you can do with this. Because I'm boring and unoriginal, I suppose we should start with the very basics of this grand old hobby (this does have Newbie in the title, after all).

~~~~~

Q: Okay, but seriously, what the hell is floriography?

A: Floriography, or the language of flowers, is the art of plant symbolism. Like you know how roses mean love, and clover means luck? It's pretty much that, except with a ton of different flowers (and a few plants that aren't), that you can mix and match to create your desired message. Say, if you hope someone does well with their new job, you might send them clover (for luck) and sunflowers (for wealth). It's a fairly simple concept, actually.

Q: When did it become a big thing?

A: Symbolism related to plants has been around for most of human history in some form or other (lilies and purity go back a looong way, as least as far as ancient Greece). But in terms of popularity, it definitely peaked in Victorian era England and the U.S., where more than a few people apparently carried around little flower dictionaries (like this one!), mainly published in France (not like this one). Allegedly, this was inspired by a Turkish kind of floriography, ('salem' or 'selaam') but don't quote me on that because I couldn't find much on it. Anyway, by the end of the Victorian era and the 19th century, lots of flowers had accrued so many potential meanings (and hundreds of flower dictionaries giving different ones) that things just became plain impractical, and le langage des fleurs just sort of fell into almost-total obscurity.

Q: Yeah, but why the Victorian era?

A: ...Globalization, probably? I dunno.

~~~~~

If you have any questions, feel free to ask! Comments are always welcome, or a PM if you'd prefer. Or suggest a flower you want to know about! Chances are I'll already have it covered, but you never know. And I'm always ready to add another to the collection. Okay, so now that we all know what the hell we're talking about, let's get down to business (to defeat the huns)...