south park oneshots

kyman // smut

Requested

(They're 18)
Top: Eric
Bottom: Kyle

Kinks:

/____/____/____/____/____/____/____/____/__

3rd person:

Kyle had made another stupid deal with Cartman, if Cartman could make his own McDonald's in 1 day Kyle would have to give him a blow job. Which in Kyle's case he thought it was impossible, but Cartman went and found a running McDonald's and got his mom to buy it for him, "THAT DOESN'T COUNT DUDE!! " He yelled but even Stan said it technically does.

Kyle isn't going to do it ofc, that would be gross. He's probably gonna have ants on his penis.

He said to meet him behind the school at the end of the day, so he got Stan to drive him out of Colorado, no idea where they were going to go they got in Stans car and drove away.

Now they're in Kansas in a hotel, Kyle didn't tell his parents and didn't remember till they got there. 'That's gonna be an interesting conversation... ' he thought, which it really was.

Great timing for her to call
"Hey ma" Kyle said anxiously to his very angry mother, "Bubbie...  WHERE ARE YOU?! " "uhhh" he said a bit unsure "Stan where are we??? " Kyle whispered to Stan so his mom couldn't hear him, she still did nonetheless "AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE!!! " she screamed into the phone "Stan knows!! Right...? " Stan in fact did not know "uhhh Utah maybe???" Stan said in response kind of as a question "wait the motel is literally called Kansas first motel so we're in Kansas!" "Kansas!?" Kyle's mother was still very concerned and mad "we're 18 at least!" Kyle defended, but that did not help.

"You are still in school Kyle!!" Not even a nickname this time, she was REALLY mad... "I'm not coming back sorry ma" and he hung up after that statement and put his phone on silent.

A couple hours later Stan and Kyle realized they needed to get food, so the two of them went to get some pizza, unfortunately the closest pizza place was the next city over, so it took quite awhile. There was a motel right next to it so they checked out of the first motel and stayed at that one.

Cartman POV:

Kahl went to Kansas to get away from me lmao, I have his Snapchat so I know exactly where he is, I got my mem to drive me there and it was soooo boring.

When we got there though it was totally worth it, the faces of both Stan and Karl were HILARIOUS!!!

"Kahl~" "HUH!?" He screamed "I found you~~" I said with a smirk, Stan ofc stepped in to protect him "3sum???" I laughed out "ew, no one wants to even touch you." Stan replied angrily. "Klearly Kail does >:3" "my name. Is not. Kail." "Whatever KARL LMFAOOOOO" "Who says lmfao in real life... " Stan butt in.

"Stfu Stanlay no one likes you except Wenty." "It's Wendy not Wenty." Said cringy Stany boo boo.

I grabbed kahl by his rist and into the bathrom of the piza place, looked around the bathroom to see of anyone was there and locked the door. "Ok kayl time to sucky suckyyy~~~" "no." "You lost the bet karhl" "ugh fine..."

Kyle pov:

I cannot believe I'm about to do this. I don't WANT to do this but I lost the bet, ew.

If I'm gonna do this might as well get this over with, it's not like were gonna fuck, I just have to suck him off. It's still disgusting and goes against my will to live but just do it, and do it awfully so he never makes a bet like this again.

He went over to the counter and sat down, he pulled off his pants but not his boxers, I knew what he was doing and I am NOT pulling down his boxers. He can do that by himself.

"Cmon Kail come get some dick~" I almost puked at that "I'm not pulling down your boxers for you fat fuck." "Ouchy tha hurt my feewings lmfaoooo" "fuck you cartman" "that's what you should be doing kayl"

He was being stubborn and I really just wanted to get this over with so I just sat down infront of him and grabbed at his boxers "wow so needy~" I just rolled my eyes and he helped me pull them down. Why did he want a bj... It was like a centimeter long? In reality is was 2 inches, still tiny as fuck. What was I supposed to do here? I sat in shock as he looked down at me smirking, "you surprised it's so big?" I mean it was bigger than I thought but that's still micro.

I bet Wendy has a bigger dick, and she doesn't even have a dick...

I stood up unlocked the door and went back to Stan, "how'd it go?" Stan said with a disgusted face. I burst out laughing and he did too after a moment "was it that bad!?" Stan laughed out "IT WASN'T EVEN 3 INCHES YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS BAHAHA" I replied almost dying "HE THOUGHT IT WAS BIG" "NO WAY" both me and Stan couldn't hold it in I almost fell over from laughing but Stan caught me while still laughing.

Once we stopped laughing we went to the motel as to not waste the money we spent for this, we still giggled once and a while but we calmed down a bit. We went home the next day and I was grounded for the reason why I left.

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I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT /SRS BUT I CAN'T MAKE BIG DICK CARTMAN I'M SORRYYYYYY!!!!
Hopefully it was okay though lmao, if you read this out of curiosity or to disgust yourself hopefully this did the job at the beginning lol. Anyways sorry this took so long, my boss decided to open the cafe 24 hrs so everyone quit. (not everyone but we had 17 people now we have 5 :/)

1016 words :)

Requests are open!