Blue and Green Roses // DNF

Chapter 10: Moving on

A/N: SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!!!!! Life has been a bit overwhelming recently and the two day break was necessary. However, now I am back, and will continue to post regularly. Also, 76 views. Pretty cool.

Clay

Drip.

The clean, expensive tap, not properly turned off, let one single drop of water slip out, splashing against the marble sink. My gaze locked up, I scanned the boring pattern of my ceiling, the fan twirling slowly, the hot air being pushed around the room as a bead of sweat started to form on my head. Still lying down on my bed, the bead continued to grow, trailing down past my mouth as it fell down my neck.

Drip. The tap reluctantly let off another drop, screaming for me to turn it off, as if the water was its blood, and a severe loss would cause death.

Drip. The tap let off another drop. I closed my eyes.

Drip. I curled my fist, wrapping my fingers around the blanket.

Drip. My teeth bit into the side of my mouth.

Drip. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.

Drip.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I screamed as I lunged forwards, panting as I flare my nostrils. I blinked, running my fingers through my hair as I composed myself, calming down.

Life isn't good.

At all.

These past few days have been dire without George.

On the day it happened, I went to the field at night, but he never showed. I tried texting, but I'm pretty sure he blocked me. I remember sitting there, anxious, waiting for him to show. I was desperate to see him. I couldn't wait. I needed to see him.

He was my everything.

Or, at least, he was.

Because he will never forgive me. I suppose I have to move on. I need to move on. Especially with Richard and his asshole friends. They are getting too close to the truth. If they see me with George one more time, they will never believe me.

No matter how many slurs I shut.

I gulped, guilt filling my body as my mind went back to that moment. I was furious with myself. How the hell could I say that? How could I say that to him? How could I be so cold, so calculated, so evil?

How could I attack him like that?

I am a monster. I am a horrible person. Even though I want nothing more than getting him back, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve to feel his warm embrace. I don't deserve him.

He deserves better. He shouldn't have to put up with someone like me.

I suppose that is why, despite my hatred of her, I find myself going back to Madison, in my time of pain. She is horrible.

Maybe opposites don't attract.

I bit my lip, trying to figure out what I should do.

Text her.

Maybe, just maybe, everyone will treat me as normal if I do it. With her.

I am under so much pressure. Everyone will be looking at me, looking at what I do. It's not normal. Not sleeping with Madison even though we are dating. I have to do it. I have to.

I pulled out my phone, searching through my phone as I looked for her contact. But before I could see it, I saw him. Even though he had blocked me, his number was still in my phone. Right below hers. He was always there. always reminding me.