To Soon To Love You

Feeling The betrayal

⚠️ self-harm and smoking.⚠️

That night while I was getting dressed and I hear Walter talking with Evie about what happened with the butler. I was walking to the bed but stopped in my tracks when I heard my name. "I'm sorry about Y/N, She just found out she's adopted and that her whole life was a lie with shitty caretakers, so she may be a bit mean and moody." Evie said laughing a bit but nervous because she told information that wasn't hers to say. "I couldn't leave her in New York in that condition, She's known for self-harm." She said in a sad tone.

"It's completely fine, she's quite nice and very artistic," He says making me Smile through the door at his words. Then back to the fact I'm pretty pissed
Evie told my business to Walter. "Oh my god, I just told my best friends information that wasn't mine to tell " She felt guilty I could tell but still really upset that She told him.

I went to my bed not wanting to hear anymore. The next morning I threw on a  black Lantern Sleeve
ruffle hem dress for the family reunion. I was with everyone wondering if Evie would even tell me that she told him my information. She was late but came in greeted by Oliver and I guess a family member. After the speech and when she was done talking to Oliver She came by me saying. "In a room full of aged men is a bit weird even though their family." she said, lightly
bumping my shoulder "Yea" I said with a quick smile it fading away.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked I felt myself starting to breathe heavily "Yea, um, I need to get out of here," I say grabbing my throat and running out of the room and going to the garden. I was having a full-blown panic attack. My whole life was a lie with shitty people. I could have had this life living well, and being well taken care of but I got abused, emotionally and physically, by shitty so-called parents. If I keep thinking about it I'm gonna make myself more upset.

I went back to my room and saw this beautiful satin blue thin strap long dress with a thigh-high slit and an open back hanging from the bed with a note that said 'An elegant dress for elegant women, for tonight - Walter' it was amazing I loved it but I felt it was given
to me because of what Evie told him. I got my wine-red velvet long dress that goes all the way down with a mermaid bottom, thin straps, and an open back.

It wasn't to be rude to him. I just think he gave it to me to wear out of pity. I got ready, put on my black open-toed heels, straightened my hair, put on my gold hoop earrings, and put on my blue gem necklaces. I took my Canon camera seeing the outside and the way it looked. I was trying to do everything in my power to control myself. It was beautiful. The lights, the people, the drinks, and the dance floor. Everything about the setting looked like a dream.

I took pictures of all the things that caught my eye. I kind of felt like Evie wasn't caring or paying attention to me much. I know she's around her new family but it's my family too. Did She forget? I'm getting looked at like I'm not supposed to be here. They will all be shocked when they find out I'm an Alexander too.

I saw Evie talking with I believe Viktoria and Lucy. I go over to them. I can tell I like Lucy, Viktoria seems a bit tough to break. "Viktoria and Lucy right?" I ask interrupting their conversation whatever they were talking about, "Yes, and you are?" Viktoria asks "Y/N, you look amazing " Evie says "Thanks, brought it with me, your dress, is it a pity dress from Walter too?" I asked Evie with an attitude. "No, what are you talking about?" Evie asked confused.

"You beautiful ladies wouldn't mind if I take pictures of you in your amazing dresses would you?" I asked Viktoria and Lucy ignoring Evies's question. Lucy had the biggest smile on her face looking at Viktoria to see her response. "I wouldn't mind at all" Viktoria was saying before Evie interrupted. "Y/N, What are you talking about?"' Evie asked annoyed with the way I was treating her.

"Wow... You are supposed to be my best friend I tell you my personal information because I trusted you, but you're telling Walter about my business that isn't
yours to tell. I overheard you, Evie, telling Walter you 'Sorry about me' then today I find a dress in my room from Walter. I'm guessing he felt sorry about my past." I said, completely angry. Evie just looked at me shocked.

Viktoria and Lucy looked at each other making a surprised expression, "Are you girls ready" I asked them walking to a good spot to take pictures. I started to take their pictures when Mr. Feild announced Walters's arrival. I started to take pictures of him seeing him look around for someone. He looked so sexy dressed up. I started to get dirty thoughts, about what I'd do to him. I was smiling so hard... until I saw him look at Evie then smile and start walking to her.

I hate to say this I was jealous and did feel like he was being nice and talked to me because he felt bad. As he took her glass to set it down he spotted me. looked me down then back up and made eye contact and smirked at me. Then continued to grab her hand and take her to the dance floor. I didn't know what to feel there were so many emotions. No, way too many emotions.

It was happening again. I started to panic as I felt like I couldn't breathe. I looked around seeing Walter look a bit worried. I grab my throat running my hand down my neck and let me hand rest on my chest as I started to walk away quickly as I could. I was in the front garden feeling my eyes water a bit trying to hold it back by looking up so tears wouldn't fall. When I looked back down I saw Evie and Walter walking and for some reason, it triggered me.

How could my so-called best friend just make it seem like she was embarrassed by me and my actions just for him? I mean I understand at the same time, but she knows how I feel about things like that. Feeling like I'm just embarrassing her and that my actions aren't normal. My passed messed me up big time, her telling him felt like a stab in the back.

I ran back into the mansion, heading to my room, putting my camera away, grabbing a razor blade and a blunt and then heading back out to the woods to get away from everything. I found a tree that seemed comfortable and sat on the grass leaning on it. Tears fell down my face as I started to pull the bottom of my dress up showing my upper thigh. Pulling the blade from my bra and cut six lines on my thigh all drawing blood and dripping down the side of my leg.

I put the blade back in my bra and grabbed the blunt and lighter from the other side. Lightning it and inhaling I felt more relaxed but still upset and crying. My eyes kept getting redder with every inhale and crying. After finishing my blunt I stand up almost tripping, I stand straight pulling my dress down feeling the dried blood on my peach fuzz hairs being pulled from the fabric.

I start walking back in, heading up the stairs slowly to my room my eyes red and puffy feeling the buzz from smoking. As I start walking down the hall I see Walter come out of Evie's room in a white tank top. "Figured" I mumbled under my breath. As I get closer about six steps away from Evie's room Walter closing the door he hears me almost tripping once again he looks up seeing me and looking concerned.

"Y/N, are you okay?, what are you still doing up and in your dress still?" Walter walks closer seeing my eyes red and puffy. "What happened, love?" Walter asks grabbing your arm helping you walk to your room walking you in and shutting the door behind him.